For the Heart I Once Had
by Persephone's Journey
Summary: Sequel to Burden of Sacrifice. Kat is back in her original world with Jensen and Jared. She is having a hard time to deal with the choice of leaving Sam, Dean and her daughter behind. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are fighting to stop Lucifer and keep the world safe. Nothing is going the way it should and there are no ways to fix it; until there finally is.
1. Prologue

_**Heaven today is but a way**_ _ **  
**_ _ **To a place I once called home**_

Kat sat in Jared's trailer. Jared had been looking after her for the past month. He really should have been a spy the way he had been able to smuggle her from his trailer to his car and to the motel he had set her up in. However, he had finally said enough was enough. He couldn't keep lying to his wife. Kat shook her head. That still took some getting used to. Jared was married with a baby boy. And Jensen was still... Jensen. His love life was still a mess. He wanted this girl, he had her, and he lost her. Kat smiled. At least some things never changed. The smile slowly slipped from her face when she remembered why she was sitting in Jared's trailer at that very moment. Jared had also decided that he couldn't keep lying to Jensen. Kat raked her hands through her hair. She wanted to bolt for the door and keep on running.

She thought about the last time she had seen Jensen. He had been asking her to spend her life with him and let him raise her child. She closed her eyes and felt tears form. Now that very child was being raised by Dean and here Kat was, back in the world she had been so eager to leave behind. She opened her eyes and let a couple of tears fall. She didn't think she could handle looking at Jensen. All she would see in his features was Dean. Or more to the point, all she would see now was the little things that made the two men different.

"Jared, I swear to God this better be good man. I haven't had my coffee yet," she heard Jensen's voice from outside the trailer.

"Oh believe me, it is good," Jared said.

Kat stood and watched as the door opened. Jensen came in first. He turned and saw her and everything stopped. She felt tears come to her eyes and suddenly all she could think of was Dean. She heard Jared close the door to the trailer and knew that he had left her and Jensen alone. She walked towards Jensen when she realized that he wasn't going to make the first move.

"Kat?" he asked softly. His voice reminding her so much of the man who she had left behind.

"It's me, Jensen. I," she shook her head, "I'm back."

"Why?" he questioned.

She shrugged. "You don't want to know."

Jensen looked at her and saw how skinny she was and how tired she looked. He still couldn't believe that she was there. He stepped forward and yanked her into a tight hug. He realized she was right; he didn't want to know why she was there. He just cared that she was back where he thought she belonged.

* * *

Sam opened his eyes when he heard Addie cry. He rolled over in bed and slowly sat up. He looked at the bed across the room was his. It was empty and hadn't been slept in. He sighed and climbed out of the bed and walked over to the crib that held his crying niece.

"Shhh, it's all right, Addie. Uncle Sam is here. I got everything under control," he said picking her up in his arms.

He held her close to him. He sighed and didn't know what was worse; the lie he was telling himself that he had everything under control or lying to Adora about it. He turned when the door to the room opened and Dean staggered in. He saw that the buttons on Dean's shirt were half undone and his belt was hanging down his leg. Sam sighed not even wanting to know who his brother had picked up at the bar the night before. He watched as Dean just walked over to his bed and crashed. Not even a word to Sam or a hello to Adora.

He turned and looked at Addie. "Well, good morning to you, I guess," he muttered carrying her in the washroom. He would give her a bath and get her dressed then take her out for breakfast. After he would take her to the park of something. He would bring her back to the motel in the late afternoon when Dean finally decided to get sober. Dean would spend a couple of hours with Addie and then they would leave and move on to the next town and the next hunt. And there Dean would go out after and get drunk. Sam sighed.

"Rinse and repeat," he muttered.

 _Dammit, Kat, why couldn't you stay and fight?_ He thought.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone. I'm back! And so is Kat. So yes, I am posting this story now but fair warning, I don't know how often I will be updating and stuff. And the story isn't finished, so I really need to get on that. Anyway, just wanted to say hello and that I missed you guys. *giant hugs* I am so happy to be back. So, onwards with the story!

* * *

Dean laid in the bed and stared at the ceiling. Kat had been gone three months, two weeks and four days. He could no longer sleep without first downing an entire bottle of Jack. The bed was just too empty without her. There was also the problem of the nightmares. He dreamt of her calling for him and he was running after her. However, he never reached her. Her sobs echoed around him and he was powerless to stop her.

"Dean, are you going to call Cas and ask him to help?" Sam asked from his spot at the table.

Dean thought about that question. They had just finished enduring the first ever Supernatural convention thanks to Becky and Dean was pretty sure he was never, EVER, going to forget seeing so many people dressed up as Sam and him. Adora had looked at everyone then looked at Dean clearly confused as to why everyone wanted to dress like her daddy. Upside was Becky had told them who Bela had given the colt to. So now there was this huge question that had loomed in his head since that moment. Go after the colt and possibly get himself killed leaving Addie an orphan or don't go after the colt and let the whole world die? He sat up and looked at Sam.

"Why don't you call him and ask him?" Dean asked his brother.

Sam looked away from Dean. "Because last time I called him it... It didn't go so well."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Sam, there something you want to tell me?"

Sam focused on his laptop in front of him. He knew though that Dean wouldn't let it go. He sighed and turned to look back at his brother. "I tried to get him to go and get Kat back."

Dean got up from the bed and walked over to the fridge a string of curses tumbling out of his mouth with every step. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. He twisted off the cap and took a long drink. He then took a moment to swallow the anger that bubbled to the surface before he turned and looked at his brother again. He looked at Sam and restrained himself from going over there and slapping his brother.

"What were you thinking?" Dean demanded.

"I was thinking that you need her with you. And so does Addie. I thought it would be better for Adora to have her mother with her," Sam looked away from Dean's eyes, "I didn't want her growing up like I did, Dean. I want her to have both her parents with her."

Dean sighed and looked down at the floor. The anger was suddenly gone and he was reminded again of all the memories he had of Mary that Sam didn't. He looked over and glanced at the crib where his one year old was sleeping. He thought about Adora and knew that Sam was right. She did deserve to have Kat with her. Hell, Addie deserved to have a normal life. Unfortunately, Kat had known that but she had still left. Dean didn't know what more he could do to try and make Sam understand that. Kat had left them, Dean hadn't made her go. He had wanted her to stay but she had left anyway. He turned back and saw his little brother giving him the full on puppy face.

"Sam, I want that too but Kitten," Dean swore softly. He was still thinking of Kat as his. "Kat left. I didn't make her go she just decided to leave. She abandoned us, Sam."

Sam made a face, "She had a reason, Dean."

Dean snorted, "Oh yeah, she always has a reason doesn't she?"

Sam slammed his laptop screen down and looked at Dean. He was angry now. "Katerina left to protect us and Adora. She knew what you would say if she stayed. She didn't want you to be the one to make that decision, Dean. Stop being a douche and realize that she did love you. She loved you and her daughter enough to know that if she stayed there was a chance it could end bloody for all of us."

"It's going to end bloody anyway, Sam! How do you really think we are going to stop Lucifer, huh? Walk up to him and ask nicely that he doesn't end the whole freakin world?"

Sam got up and kicked his chair. "Way to think positive, Dean. Really. We know where the colt is and we can-."

"Can what? Go and get ourselves killed trying to get it? Yeah, cause that sounds awesome. I am sure that Bobby will tell some pretty great stories to Addie about us."

"I was thinking more along the lines of I get the colt with Ellen and Jo."

Dean raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms on his chest. "Oh really? And what did you expect me to do? Bake pies?"

Sam looked at his brother and thought about it. "No, cause then I would worry about you burning down Bobby's house."

"Oh, real cute, Sammy, real cute," Dean stated a clear look of anger and annoyance on his face. "I am not going to let you take Ellen and Jo out there and get yourselves killed."

"Well, I am not going to let you go out there and get killed. Adora needs you a hellva lot more then she needs me."

Dean and Sam both stood in the motel room staring at each other. They both knew that the other had very good points. Dean rolled his eyes and dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He looked at Sam. "We are going to do this together. You and me with Cas, Ellen and Jo," he gave his little brother a half smile, "Addie needs you too, Sammy. I mean, someone needs to actually be able to help her with her school work."

Sam smiled and nodded. He turned and looked at Addie sleeping in the crib while he listened to Dean call Cas. He thought about Kat again. He wondered if she would approve of the decisions that he and Dean were making. He then wondered if she even cared anymore. It was hard for him to keep taking her side when she had left them behind. She had walked away from her daughter and no matter how much Sam reread the letter she had left, or told himself that she had done what she had too, he could still feel that doubt in him that Dean had. The doubt that Kat had never really cared about them at all.

* * *

Kat sat on the beach and watched the waves come in. She held out her hand and whispered an incantation. She smiled as she watched the waves slowed down. She looked around and was sure no one else noticed. She looked at the sun setting and whispered another incantation and the sun stopped. She had literally frozen a perfect moment in time. She turned and looked down the beach and saw a couple kissing and rolling around on the sand. She turned back and looked at the sun and the water. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

"You know, one of these days, you are actually going to have to get a job and stop lounging around," she heard Jensen tell her.

She opened her eyes and turned as Jensen sat on the sand beside her. He had become her guardian of sorts since Jared had a family to focus on. He was there at her new apartment when he wasn't working and even when he was, he was there to drag her to set with him. Jared and him had tried to get her to take her old job back but being a PA was not what she wanted anymore. She wasn't even sure what she wanted anymore. She turned away from Jensen and focused on the waves again.

"I go to the casino and use my powers to win money. I don't need to work," Kat answered keeping her eyes on the water and not Jensen. It had become a new habit of hers, avoiding his eyes and looking at him as much as she could. Every time she did, she felt her heart break a little more.

Jensen looked at her. "Jared said you took off on him after he mentioned something that was happening in the show. Want to talk about it?"

"No."

Jensen sighed, "Kitty Kat-."

"Don't. Just don't call me that and don't even try to get me to talk about it. I don't want to talk about this. Especially not with you."

Jensen nodded. He turned and looked at the water and the sun. He then looked back at Kat. She was getting to be way too thin and he could see the large bags under her eyes. When he had found out she was back, he had thought that he could magically make everything all right for her again. He wanted everything to go back they way they had been before Dean and Sam had crashed into their lives. Jensen had found out though, that it would never be that way again. Kat was physically there with him but she had left her heart and soul back with Dean and their daughter.

"Katerina, I know that it kills you because I look like him, but I am not him. I know you know that and I just wish that you would talk to me like you use to. We were friends once," Jensen said reaching out and taking her hand.

Kat snorted, "You thought of me as your friend while I was convinced I was madly in love with you. And then you finally decided you wanted a relationship with me after I realized I was in love with someone else."

Jensen sighed. "We seriously going to go through this? I do remember, I was there."

Kat sighed and closed her eyes and let tears fall. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired of you and Jared treating me with kid gloves all the time. You two have turned your lives upside down since I have been back here and for what? To babysit me."

"Hey, Kat, we did it because we care about you. We know that you need us right now so we're there for you. It's that simple."

"But Jared has CJ and their son and you have Roxy. I am screwing everything up," she looked at Jensen, "Lately it doesn't seem to matter which dimension I am in I am messing everything up."

Kat turned back to the water. She let Jensen wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her against him. She leaned against his body and let tears fall. She closed her eyes and let herself pretend that she was in Dean's arms. Those thoughts stopped when Jensen's cell phone rang. She pulled away from him and gave him a smile as he answered it.

"I found her, Jared... Yeah, we'll meet you there... I promise she will come. See you later," Jensen hung up and looked at Kat.

"I just want to go back to my shiny new apartment and sleep," she said.

"Jared wants us to meet us at Sweet Dreams," he saw the look on Kat's face, "Come on, it'll be like old times. The three of us sitting in a booth driving CJ insane because we are drinking her out of the dark roast faster than her supplier can bring it."

Kat sighed waved her hands causing the waves to roll as they had before and letting the sun move again. "It will never be like that again, Jen. I can't be that person again."

Jensen stood and pulled her to her feet. "I know. And you don't need to be her again. But maybe you could try being a little less emo version of the person you are now."

Kat shoved Jensen but felt a smile form on her face anyway. She walked beside him up the beach to where he had parked. She stopped when she felt a slight sting on her chest. She knew Dean was thinking of her in that moment. Her connection to him hadn't disappeared when she had crossed over. She reached up and rubbed the spot over her heart where her scar was. She promised herself that the moment she was in her apartment, alone, she would open up a seeing pool and see if Dean was all right. It was her only connection to him she had left in her old world.


	3. Chapter 2

Kat rolled her eyes as Jensen grabbed her hand and dragged her into the coffee shop, Sweet Dreams and Happy Mornings. She saw Jared waiting for them in their usual booth. She felt her heart ache a little as she thought back to all the times the three of them had come there for coffee for a break from the set or after a long day of shooting. It was in that shop that the strong friendship between the three of them had formed. Kat smiled at Jared and let him give her a huge hug. She had thought that their friendship could sustain anything. However, now it was being sorely tested because of the fact that her two best friends resembled the two men she considered her family that she had left behind. She pulled away from Jared's hug wishing that when he hugged her she didn't think of Sam. She turned and looked around the room.

"How did you get CJ to close the place early?" she asked softly sliding into the booth.

"Told her it was a family emergency," Jared answered flicking off the lights and walked over to the door and locking it. He nodded at Jensen and the other man walked to the back of the coffee shop and grabbed a projector and a laptop.

Kat raised an eyebrow. "Family emergency? Whose?"

"Ours," Jensen answered as Jared set up a large blank screen in front of the booth that Kat was sitting in. "We know that you don't really want to be here and-."

"Stop, there, Jensen. You don't know anything, all right."

"We know that you didn't leave your daughter behind because you didn't love her," Jared said looking at her. "I'm a parent now, Kat. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through being away from her. You never really said why you left and I am not going to ask you to go into now. All I am asking is that you stop treating Jensen and I like idiots instead of two people who care about you."

Kat sat back and nodded. She didn't really know what to say. She watched the two of them set up whatever they had planned and felt herself starting to remember how it had been with the three of them. She smiled as she remembered some of the good times on set and even a couple of memorable nights in some bars. The smile slipped though when those memories began to twist and she started to remember times with Sam and Dean when they had been in that world with her. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. She really wanted to know when it would ever get any easier to think about the men she had left behind to raise her little girl.

"Okay, so we decided that we were going to stage an intervention of sorts," Jensen said smiling at her.

"Oh God, you two have been watching A&E again, haven't you?" she muttered.

"Haha. Anyway, Jared thought maybe you need a little bit of reminding about how happy you were here."

Jared nodded. He smiled at Kat. "I don't want to hurt you with this or make you feel bad for how you have been treating us. I just want to remind you that a couple of years ago, the three of us made quite a team."

Kat watched as Jared pressed a couple of buttons and on the large screen she saw a picture appear. She smiled as she saw it was a picture of Jared carrying her around piggy back as she held a squirt gun and talked into a walkie talkie. The picture then changed and showed one of her and Jensen on set. The two of them both had their faces buried in a script and Jensen was chewing on the end of his pen. She wiped the tears that fell from her eyes as picture after picture came on the screen of the three of them and other members of the cast and crew of the show. She remembered all the good times and all the bad times and how they had all been a family. She smiled wider as the pictures changed a home video that Jensen had made.

 _"Come on, Kitty Kat, tell me. What did you want to be growing up?" he asked as he followed her with the camera as they walked to the set._

 _"I am not going to tell you that, Jensen. You really don't need to know that," Kat stopped and brought the microphone of her headset closer to her mouth, "What? Repeat that Mickey Mouse..." Kat rolled her eyes at Jensen as he stepped back and started to give her a wide angle then zoomed in like he was checking her out with the camera. "...Did you check Sweet Dreams?... Yes, it is time for his hourly caffeine fix, over," she dropped her hand and looked at Jensen, "What the hell are you doing?"_

 _"Getting some prime footage to post to your dating site profile," he answered._

 _"I don't have a profile."_

 _"Oh, you will."_

Kat shook her head and wiped away more tears. She slid out of the booth and bumped into Jensen as he went to shut the projector off. She let him pull her close to him and hug her. She closed her eyes and cried into his chest. She heard Jared shut the projector off. She then reached out and grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hug too. She wrapped an arm around him and stood in between the two men that she had once considered her family. After several moments she pulled away and looked at the two of them. She wiped her tears away.

"I know you guys are just trying to help but I have to be honest with you," she said softly, "That girl that you cared about is gone. I'm not her anymore and I don't think I can ever be her again."

"Come on, Kitty Kat. Don't get dramatic on us," Jensen said his voice having that teasing tone in it that he had always used with her before.

"I'm not being dramatic, it's just the truth. I know you don't understand and right now I just," Kat pulled away from them and gave them a sad smile, "Right now, I am not strong enough to be able to talk about it all and explain it."

"Kat-," Jensen tried again.

"It was bad, wasn't it?" Jared asked seeing the tears form in Kat's eyes.

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it. Thank you for this, but right now I just really want to forget and not feel."

Kat grabbed her bag and walked towards the door. She unlocked it and left. She wiped the tears from her eyes and was grateful that Jensen and Jared hadn't followed her. She just wanted to get back to her apartment and be alone. As much as she cared about Jensen and Jared, every moment with them reminded her of what she had walked away from. There was only so much pain she could handle before she completely broke.

* * *

Dean walked into the small closet of a washroom and shut the door behind him. He stood and looked at the red hand print he left behind on the door. He looked down at his hands and saw Jo's blood on them. He felt his eyes well with tears. He turned away from the door and looked at the mirror. He could see the blood on his shirt and on his jacket sleeves and hands. He walked over to the sink and washed the blood away. He let the boiling water wash away Jo's blood as he sobbed and cried. He had held it together for as long as he could out there while on the radio with Bobby. Now though he was losing it.

He shut the water off and turned to grab some paper towels to wipe his hands. He thought about Jo putting herself in harm's way for him. She had stepped in between him and a hellhound. As he had carried her into the store she had whispered, "Can't have Addie grow up like I did without her daddy." More tears fell and Dean slid down the wall and sat on the tile floor. He ran his hands over his face and wiped away his tears. He sat there in pain knowing that Jo was going to die. He could lie to Ellen and Sam when he was out there and pretend along with them that they would get Jo out of there but here in the tiny white washed washroom he could admit that he knew Jo wasn't going to make it. She was going to die just so that he could go home to his little girl.

"Dean, you all right?" he heard Sam ask as his brother knocked gently on the door.

"I'm good, Sam," Dean lied.

Sam was silent for a moment. "You know one of the things that Kat first mastered were turning mirrors into viewing pools. She always said it was the easiest thing in the world if you knew what you were doing."

Dean didn't say anything. He did however find himself looking up at the mirror in the washroom. He slowly stood and stood in front of it. He turned and looked under the door and saw Sam's shadow still there. He waited.

"She's connected to you, Dean. She'll hear you," Sam said his voice barely a whisper. Then he walked away leaving Dean in the washroom.

Dean looked at the mirror again. He then pulled off his jacket and his button up. He sighed and pulled off his t-shirt as well. He looked at the scar across his chest over his heart. He gently ran his hand over it.

"Kitten, I need you," he managed to choke out, "I don't care why you left or how we left things between us. I just need you to tell me that I am doing what is right here. Please," he practically begged.

He looked up at the mirror but nothing happened. He sighed thinking that he had just made a complete ass of himself. He stopped when he felt a pain in his chest. He cursed and looked down. He swore when he saw that the cut was bleeding. He looked up at the mirror again and saw the blood trickle down his chest. He stood there confused. He didn't have anything sharp in his hand and hadn't even been wearing his watch or bracelet. There was nothing near his scar that could cut it and cause it to bleed. And yet it was.

He swallowed the lump in his throat, "Kitten?" he whispered.

* * *

Kat had just walked into her apartment when she was almost knocked over with the overwhelming feeling of pain and need. She closed the door to her apartment and leaned against it. She tossed her bag aside and took slow deep breaths. She told herself it was nothing. She was imagining it. She turned to walk into her kitchen.

 _"Kitten, I need you."_ Dean's voice seemed to boom in the entire apartment knocking Kat to her knees.

Kat stayed on her knees and suddenly realized she wasn't imagining it. Dean was reaching out to her. She winced as next came the ache in her chest. She looked down and saw the blood seep through her shirt. She bit her lip and slowly crawled towards her bedroom.

 _"I don't care why you left or how we left things between us. I just need you to tell me that I am doing what is right here. Please."_ She heard Dean's voice all around her again. She stopped in the hallway and pulled her sweater off leaving her tank top on. She looked down and swore at the blood that covered her chest.

"Gabriel next time I see you I am going to kick your ass for this," she muttered as she continued to crawl to her bedroom. In her room she had large mirrored doors on her closet. She had a feeling that this time when she opened the viewing pool, Dean would be standing there staring back at her.


	4. Chapter 3

_**Faded and torn, old and forlorn**_ _ **  
**_ _ **My weak and hoping heart**_

Dean watched as the mirror slowly began to change. It twisted and then went black. Slowly a faded image began to appear. He watched as Kat's face appeared. She had tears rolling down her cheeks. He felt the ache in his chest get worse. Seeing her again was killing him.

"Dean," she said softly.

He looked away. "It's Jo. She... She jumped between me and a hellhound. She's dying and we're-," he started.

"I know. I got some of the images from your head. It's not your fault. You didn't ask her to save you."

Dean let tears fall and then he looked up and met Kat's eyes. "She said she did it because she couldn't let Addie grow up like she did; without a father."

Dean heard Kat's soft curses. He then watched her as she wiped the tears from her eyes. He knew that she was hurting too. He thought that he could actually feel her pain along with his own in his chest. He wished that he could reach out to her and hold her close to him. He let more tears fall. "Why did you leave, Katerina? Why did you just leave without even talking to me?" he suddenly found himself asking.

He watched as Kat looked at him then looked away. He wanted her to face him but she didn't. "I needed to protect you, Dean. I know what you would have said if I had tried to talk to you. I did what I had to. Just like you will."

Dean shook his head and let out a short laugh. "I have no clue what I am going to do."

Kat looked up and met his eyes. "Yes, you do. You are going to go out there and find a way to get out of that store. Then you are going to kill Lucifer and fix this mess."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat. "And if I can't?"

Kat gave him a sad smile. "You'll figure it out, babe. If this doesn't work you'll find another way. It's who you are and what you do."

"I am not a fucking hero."

Dean watched as Kat reached out and touched her hand to the mirror. He watched as the window slowly began to close. He slammed his hands on the mirror but the vision of Kat kept getting smaller and smaller and then became black. "You are a hero, Dean. You and Sam are heroes. You sacrifice yourselves to save others. That's a hero. Now go out there and kick Lucifer's ass," he heard Kat's voice echo. He watched as the mirror went black and then it cleared and he was once again staring at his own reflection.

"I'm not a hero, Kitten," he said sadly, "heroes always get the girl at the end of the movie." He then sighed and grabbed some paper towel to wipe the blood from his chest. He felt more relaxed but he could still see his hands shake slightly. He knew that this was not going to end well.

* * *

Kat curled up in a ball on the carpet of her bedroom. She felt the throbbing in her chest and could still feel blood flowing from the cut there but she didn't care. She let the sobs out and pulled her knees to her chest. She sobbed for the loss of the man she knew she would always love and the loss of her child. She mourned the loss of the person she had been back there in that world. Most of all though she cried knowing that back here in the place that she should have felt safe and at home, she didn't. All she wanted was to be back with Dean, Sam and Addie. She wanted to be a family with them and not have to fake being a family with Jensen and Jared.

"I can't do this," she cried, "I can't do this anymore."

She cried herself to sleep not moving from her spot on the carpeted floor. She had finally broken and she knew that there was no putting her back together. She didn't want to be fixed. And what she did want, she couldn't have.

* * *

Sam stood shocked rooted to the spot as Lucifer hit Dean and Dean went down. Dean had shot Lucifer in the head with the colt. Apparently though the colt couldn't kill Lucifer and now there the devil was standing still alive and well. Lucifer turned and smiled at Sam. Sam felt his stomach flip flop and bile rise in his throat. He hated how Lucifer looked at him some prized possession. It creeped him out and sent chills down his spine.

"Sam, I am so glad we are going to get this time to talk," Lucifer said picking up his shovel again and going back to digging.

Sam clenched his jaw. "I am going to find a way to kill you."

Lucifer sighed, "That wounds me, Sam. I think you know that deep down you will say yes to me. You just won't be able to fight me off much longer. All that anger inside of you, I can feel it."

Sam's hands balled into fists. "It doesn't matter how angry I get or if I did say yes. It wouldn't matter because Kat would still need to say yes as well," Sam smiled bitterly at Lucifer, "And she isn't here to say yes and you don't know where she is."

Lucifer frowned. "True, I don't know where that little hellcat went but I will find her, Sam. And if I don't, hey maybe my brothers will find her first."

Sam was speechless for a moment. "Angels are looking for Kat?"

Lucifer smiled and then turned back to the hole he had been digging. "I'm not telling. I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise," he then turned back and looked at the demons surrounding the hole, "Time to get this show on the roll."

Sam watched as Lucifer began chanting and all the demons around them chanted with him. And then one by ones the demons died. Sam looked at Lucifer slightly shocked and confused. Once the last demon died, Lucifer turned and looked at Sam. He shrugged, "What? They're just demons," he said before turning his back to the pit.

Sam took the chance and went over to check on Dean and help him. He turned back to glance at Lucifer when he felt the ground tremble under his feet. He swallowed the lump in his throat and really didn't want to think about how much worse things would get once Lucifer summoned the last horseman, Death. Sam was sure there would be a trail of bodies on a global scale and there was nothing that him or Dean could do about it at the moment. He turned back to check on Dean and saw Castiel appear beside them and Dean's eyes opening. Cas placed his finger on his lips and then grabbed a hold of both Winchesters and flew away. Sam was glad to get the hell out of town. He had no desire to meet Death face to face.

* * *

Dean stood at the fireplace and watched as Bobby burned the picture he had taken the night before. It was their way of saying goodbye to Ellen and Jo. Of course Sam had made a copy first saying that Addie deserved to know who the people were who saved her daddy. It had taken all of Dean's willpower not to roll his eyes at that. He took a long gulp of the whiskey in his glass and then placed the glass on the mantle. He looked at Bobby.

"I'm going to go check on Addie," he said softly turning to walk away.

"Wait, there's something you should know," Bobby said turning his wheel chair and wheeling over to his desk.

"Can't it wait until morning? I mean, I think we have had enough for tonight."

"It's about Kat."

Dean turned and saw Sam get up from his place on the couch and walk over when he heard that. Dean could see that there was something bothering Sam but his little brother hadn't said anything and he wasn't about to ask. The last thing he wanted to finish out what had turned out to be a crappy day was a chick flick moment with his brother.

"Lucifer mentioned Kat too," Sam said softly.

Dean glanced at Sam sharply. "And when were you planning on telling me this?"

Sam shrugged. "After I had talked to Bobby and checked into if there was any truth in his words."

"Well, if Satan told you that there are people asking questions about Katerina, then he ain't lying."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "What types of questions?"

Bobby grabbed a piece of paper and then turned in his wheelchair to look at the boys. His face told them that whatever news he was about to share with them was not good. "Rufus called and said that a demon he had exorcised was asking questions and searching for a witch. Not any witch, a natural witch, a very specific one named Kat," Bobby said.

"Fuck," Dean said running a hand over his face, "Rufus find out why?"

Bobby shook his head. "No, but Missouri did. She did a little magic and talked to some spirits. Lucifer wants to find Kat and kill her."

"The angels as well," Castiel explained appearing beside Bobby and causing everyone to jump. "I have heard whisperings and they are searching for Katerina and a way to get to her world."

Sam frowned. "They are angels. Can't they just, I don't know, time travel?"

Castiel shook his head. "Time travel is possible but not easy. For demons and angels, travelling through dimensions is even worse. There is a chance they risk losing their powers and becoming weak upon arriving at their destination."

"How weak?" Dean asked.

"Weak enough to be useless for a short period of time. A couple weeks a month at the most. The only angels who can travel effortlessly through time and dimensions are arch angels. God gifted them with that power."

"Are there any arch angels after Kat?" Dean demanded. He watched as Cas looked away and wouldn't meet his eyes. "Dammit, Cas you answer me. That is the mother of my child we are talking about. If she is in danger I need-."

"You are needed here, Dean. Katerina was never meant to come here and bring your daughter with her. Your daughter was never even meant to exist period. Your destiny was to fight this war and win it. Katerina has been nothing but a problem and..." Castiel trailed off as he saw Dean's shoulder's harden and a look of pure rage come on the older Winchester's face. "Dean, I did not-."

"Get out, Cas. I really don't want to see your face right now, or I might break it," Dean managed to get out before turning on his heels and leaving the room.

Sam winced as he heard Dean's heavy angry footsteps up the stairs and then finally the door to Addie's room opening and slamming shut. He turned to look at Castiel but the angel had disappeared already. He looked at Bobby and saw the look of concern on the older man's face. Sam sighed and sat in one of the chairs in front of Bobby's desk.

Sam cleared his throat and sighed. "Dean can reach Kat through a viewing pool," he said.

Bobby looked at Sam. "Really?"

Sam nodded. "I think it has to do with that spell Missouri did. It connected Dean and Kat. He can contact her and tell her what is going on so that she will be safe."

Bobby looked at Sam with a hint of disbelief on his face. "The way I understand viewing pools is that if someone specifically calls to another person, that person has to accept that call for it to work."

Sam frowned and leaned forward in the chair. "Are you saying that if Dean called Kat again she might..." he trailed off and shook his head, "No, she would answer."

"You said they are connected. Maybe Kat only answered this time because she knew that Dean needed to talk to her. Hell, he had just seen Jo sacrifice herself for him, he was feeling guilty. Of course Kat would want to ease that away. But if he tried to call her again and this time she didn't sense any pain or guilt," Bobby stopped and saw Sam nodding.

"She might not answer because it'll be too painful to be reminded of what she left behind," Sam finished. He sat back in the chair and looked at the ceiling. "You know Bobby, just once I wish that something in our lives would be easy."

Bobby smiled sadly. "I know how you feel, boy, I know how you feel."


	5. Chapter 4

Jensen pounded on Kat's door while Jared held his infant son in his arms and tried to soothe him. Jensen turned and looked at Jared and rolled his eyes. Jared shrugged. Jensen looked down at the baby boy, Lennon Tristan and saw his little face bunched up as he wailed. He finally could take it anymore and reached out and took little LT, as he had nicknamed baby boy Padalecki in his arms.

"You were holding him wrong," Jensen told Jared.

"Yeah, cause you are the expert. I forgot, how many kids do you have?" Jared asked banging on the door as Jensen rocked LT.

"I have three nephews," Jensen answered.

They both stepped back as the door to the apartment opened. Kat leaned in the doorway wearing the same clothes that she had been wearing when they had seen her three days before. They both sent worried looks her way when they realized that there was dried blood on her shirt. She looked at them and they were both shocked at the amount of pain that was reflected in her eyes.

"Could you two shut up? Some people are trying to sleep," she muttered turning and walking back in the apartment.

Jared followed her in first. He looked around the apartment. He frowned when he saw that a mirror she had in the living room was painted black. He looked at Jensen when he walked in and shut the door behind him. Jensen saw the mirror then looked at Jared. Jared shrugged and then walked down the hall that Kat had. He found her in the master bedroom laying on the bed. He looked at her mirrored closet doors and saw that they were also painted over with black. He walked over to the bed and sat beside her body.

"Kat, what happened?" he asked reached out and taking her hand.

"Dean happened. He needed me so much. Jo, she," Kat felt her eyes fill with tears, "She sacrificed herself for Dean and he was hurting. He just needed me to tell him that he was still a hero. And I," Kat shook her head, "I couldn't even do that without falling apart on him. I left him hanging because just seeing him again hurt so bad, Jared, you have no idea," she cried.

Jensen walked into the room. He held LT and watched as Kat fell apart. He saw Jared wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. Jensen walked over and sat on the bed. LT let out a cry and Kat pulled away from Jared. She looked at the baby then at Jared. She smiled and wiped away her tears.

"Is that Lennon?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. CJ is busy running errands today so I suggested that he come hang out with his daddy and Uncle Jensen," Jared said.

"Yeah, too bad that Daddy doesn't know how to make him stop crying," Jensen said.

"I don't see you doing any better of a job. He's still crying."

"Give him here," Kat said softly.

Jensen and Jared shared a look. They then nodded. Jensen handed LT to Jared who in turn handed his son to Kat. He watched as Kat held his little boy like a pro. She smiled at him and soothed him and LT stopped crying. Kat smiled and for the first time Jensen and Jared noticed that for once the smile finally reached her eyes. Kat held one of LT's hands and smiled when he wrapped his little hand around her index finger.

"You know, my little girl, Adora use to love to hold my hand. It was her favourite thing to do. She also loved falling asleep on her Daddy's chest," Kat felt tears to come to her eyes. "Well, when he was around. I made so many mistakes with her. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is that you, Lennon, have a great Dad. He loves you so much and is going to give you the world. Just remember that he is human and give him a break sometimes, okay?"

Kat looked up and saw Jensen and Jared watching her. She handed LT back to Jared. She got up and started to pace. She turned and looked at them sitting on her bed watching her. She knew that they deserved to know why she was back there. She leaned against the wall and hugged herself.

"I did a spell, several months ago. A binding spell on Sam," she started.

"When he was drin king the demon blood?" Jensen asked.

Kat nodded. "Yeah. It connected me too him. So much so that now that Lucifer needs a vessel-."

"Wait, so Lucifer is out of his cage?" Jared asked.

"One story at a time, Jared. Lucifer needs a vessel. Sam is his true vessel. But since Lucifer is an angel, he needs Sam's permission, but because of the binding spell he needs my permission too."

Jensen swore. "And that means that Lucifer and the demons are after you."

Kat snorted. "If it would have been that easy, I would have never left. The angels are after me too. There was another spell done, it doesn't matter why," Kat said holding up her hands when Jared and Jensen opened their mouths to ask questions, "but it connected me to Dean. And that means that Michael now needs my permission as well as Dean's to wear Dean to the prom. That's why I left. An angel told me that Michael would stop at nothing to get Dean to say yes. Even if it meant torturing me and that to get me to say yes, they might hurt Addie. I couldn't let them hurt my little girl but I knew that I couldn't take her away from Dean."

"Couldn't take her away from Dean? She was your daughter too, Katerina. And you left her there in danger," Jensen said.

Kat looked at him and shook her head. "After four years of playing Dean I would have thought that you knew him by now. Addie is not in danger. Dean would die to protect his daughter. And that's why I left her there. He needed a reason to keep fighting. He needed someone to need him, Jensen. If I would have taken Adora he would have given up. I let her stay to give him hope."

"But what about you? What gives you hope?" Jared asked.

Kat shrugged. "Knowing that once all this is over I can go back home to be with my daughter."

"And what if it is never over?" Jensen asked.

Silence filled the room. Kat looked away from Jensen and Jared. The truth was she didn't know what she would do if Sam and Dean didn't find a way to defeat Lucifer. She knew she couldn't stay in her old world forever. She wanted to be with her daughter and at least try to be there for her child as she grew up. The thought of her having to stay away from her family forever hurt too much to think about.

* * *

The demon screamed as the meat suit he had gotten landed hard on the pavement. He rolled on his back and stared up at the black sky. He laid on the pavement unmoving. He didn't know where he had landed and at the moment the pain in his vessel was so much that he didn't really care. Lucifer, his dark master had sent him here to find Katerina McRae and kill her. Once that witch was gone then all Lucifer would have to do is convince that damn younger Winchester boy to let him take over and everything would be as it was meant to be. Lucifer and Michael would battle and Lucifer would win. Lucifer and by extension the demons would have control of the whole world. The demon smiled and actually felt himself getting aroused at the thought of it all. The power they would have over the humans would be endless. The demon smirked as he thought of all the ways that he could and would punish the humans once his Dark Lord was in control.

"Are you all right?" he heard a soft voice ask walking up to him. He turned and saw a pair of pink high heels come closer. His smile widened.

"Not really. Could you tell me where I am?" he asked making sure that his voice sounded soft and non threatening. He did not want this woman running away from him. He thought he could have some fun with her first.

The woman stopped and he could hear a slight hesitation, "Ah, you're in Calgary, Alberta," she said.

The demon's smile fell away. He was not where Katerina was. He knew that much. He struggled to get to sit up. He hid his smile when the woman stepped forward and helped him. "I need to be in Vancouver. I have business there."

"I could drive you to the airport."

The demon turned and wrapped his hands around the woman's neck. She tried to scream but his squeezed and her scream just sounded like a cough. He smiled at her, "I don't need an airport. I need somewhere I can stay while I wait for my powers to come back. I will need them when I face Katerina. So, how about instead of you taking me to the airport, you take me back to your place?"

The demon again felt himself aroused when the woman stared at him the fear evident in her eyes. He leaned in and placed a hard kiss on her lips. He pulled away and watched as her amber eyes rolled into the back of her head as she passed out. He squeezed her neck a little harder to be sure she was out. He then let go and kissed her on the cheek as he dug in her purse looking for her address. "Oh, don't you worry; I promise that we will have fun together. I have so many things I want to try on you before I get to Katerina. I am sure you will find them as pleasurable as she will," he stated finding the woman's wallet. She turned out to be one Sally Jackson and he read her address. He also found the keys to her car.

He pushed himself to his feet and grabbed Sally and dragged her beside him. He was glad he had landed at night and on what seemed to be a deserted part of the city at this time. It meant he could have his fun without anyone stopping him. He smiled. He may actually like it in this new dimension.

* * *

Dean walked in the back door at Bobby's and wiped his hands on the rag he carried in his back pocket. He had just finished changing the oil in the impala. He hadn't really needed to but he had needed to do something and not think about the danger that Kat was in. He worried about Lucifer sending demons after her and he worried about Zachariah sending some angels her way too. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer. He opened it and took a long sip. He stood in the kitchen and smiled when he heard Sam in the living room with Adora. He listened to their conversation.

"Your mommy is being stubborn," Sam said.

"Momma, born?" Addie asked as she tried to repeat what Sam was saying. She was past one and not even one and a half yet but her list of vocabulary seemed to be getting larger and larger as everyday past. Dean thought it was mostly because of Sam. The guy spent hours with Addie talking to her and reading to her.

"I have tried reaching her like you Daddy did but I just can't. I don't know maybe the connection she has with me isn't as strong as the one she has with Dean."

"Unkie 'Ammy?" Addie said.

"What sweetie?"

"Ug."

Dean smiled. He knew that 'ug' was Adora code for hug and that she wanted to give her uncle a hug. He walked towards the living room. He leaned against the wall and watched as Sam hugged Adora close to him. Dean watched them. He took a slow breath and made his little girl a promise. She wasn't going to lose anymore family. She had already lost Kat, Dean was damned if his daughter was going to lose Sam and him. They were all she had left.


	6. Chapter 5

Dean cursed as he followed Cas and Sam into the back room. They were trying to catch Cupid, which to Dean had to be at the top of the list of things he never thought he would have to do, EVER. He pulled at his suit and checked his watch again. He had left Adora with Bobby thinking that the older man really did need someone to keep his spirits up and give him meaning. Plus, as it turned out Adora seemed to be the only one named Winchester that Bobby seemed to not want to scream and yell at. He wanted to call and check on both his daughter and the man he considered his father. He didn't want to think about the trouble that Bobby and Addie could get into if he left them alone too long without checking in.

"Cas, where is he?" Sam asked looking around the empty back room.

"I have him tethered," Cas answered as he spoke some words in Enochian. Dean smirked and wondered if the angel was ordering a pizza. "Show yourself," Cas finished.

They all waited but nothing happened. Dean sighed. "So where is he?" he asked.

"Here I am!" Cupid yelled hugging Dean from behind.

"Help!" Dean yelled. He had been in a lot of weird situations for as long as he could remember, but this was by far the creepiest. He was relieved when Cupid put him down to go and smother Castiel. Dean dug in his pocket when he felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and walked over to the side. He did smile when he saw Cupid hug Sam tight in his arms.

"Yeah?" he said answering it.

"Adora refuses to go to sleep without saying goodnight to you," Bobby said.

Dean frowned and looked at his watch. "She should have been sleeping already, Bobby."

"Don't you think I know that, you ijit? I tried reading to her, singing to her but nothing works. She needs to say goodnight to you and then she will sleep."

"Put my baby girl on."

Dean turned and saw Sam giving him a look. He held up his finger. The job could wait five minutes while he said goodnight to his daughter. He heard Cas questioning Cupid and Cupid crying. The angel seemed to be doing fine without him.

"Daddy?" he heard his little girl say.

"Hey squirt, Grandpa Bobby says that you won't go to sleep?"

"Say night to you irst."

Dean smiled, "All right. Goodnight, Addie."

"Night, Daddy. Ove you."

"I love you too, squirt."

Dean heard Addie hand the phone back to Bobby. "She's finally agreed to sleep. I pity you later on, son."

"Why?" Dean asked.

"Cause your daughter has inherited the Winchester stubborn streak."

Dean heard the dial tone. He shoved his phone in his pocket and walked back over to the conversation that was taking place. He looked at Cupid and tried to keep his eyes focused on the angel's face. He really didn't want to be scarred anymore then he already was.

"I was just following orders and was on my appointed rounds. Read my mind, brother. I didn't do this," Cupid said looking at Castiel.

Castiel looked at Cupid. He then nodded and turned to Sam and Dean. "He's telling the truth."

"Thank you," Cupid said in relief.

"So wait, you said you were just following orders. Whose orders?" Dean had to ask.

"Whose orders?" Cupid laughed, "Heaven, of course. Heaven."

Dean frowned. "Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally?"

"Oh, most of the time they don't. But they do for certain bloodlines and certain destinies. Like you and Katerina."

Sam saw the look on Dean's face. This was not going to go well. "What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"Dean and Katerina, their union was top priority upstairs," Cupid looked at Castiel, "And top secret. Only ones who knew about it were us cupids. And even then we were sworn to secrecy," he made a face, "Oops."

"You set up me and Kat?" Dean asked his voice taking on that murderous tone. He saw Sam and Castiel each take a small step away from him.

"Not me, no but I heard about it. It was hard, involved travelling of dimensions but in the end it worked out. The arrow was true and hit both of you and took. You and Kat are perfect. The true definition of true undying love," Cupid said getting a dreamy look on his face. He looked at Dean, "you and she were met to be. You need each other more then you every needed anyone else. Adora was meant to be born and you were always meant to have Katerina by your side. For eternity. Soul mates, your two hearts-."

"ENOUGH!" Dean yelled. "Katerina left me. She's gone."

Cupid's face dropped. "Oh, I'm... Sorry but it doesn't change anything. You and Kat were meant to be. You two are a match made in heaven... heaven."

Dean couldn't take it anymore. He punched Cupid. "Son of a bitch!" he swore as he held his hand. He turned but Cupid was gone. He looked at Castiel. "Where did he go?"

"I believe you upset him," Cas said.

"Upset him?!"

Sam had had it. "Dean, stop it. Enough already."

"What?"

"You just punched a cupid."

"I punched a dick!"

Sam looked at Dean and gave his brother a sympathetic look. He was worried about him. Lately it seemed as though Dean was acting less and less like himself. Sam knew that his older brother tried for Addie but Sam could see right through it. "So, are we going to talk about what's been up with you lately?" he asked.

Dean looked at Sam and gave his brother a hard look. "How about we don't?" he answered before walking out.

Sam looked at Cas. Cas gave Sam a look then disappeared. Apparently Sam was alone in the task of trying to get Dean to talk about his feelings. Sam sighed and walked out of the back room. He didn't know how he was going to get Dean to talk this time. It seemed as though the longer they hunted, they harder it got to make Dean talk about what he was feeling. Sam saw Dean sitting at the bar sipping a drink. Sam felt his shoulders drop. He could see the sad look on his brother's face. Sam wished that he could fix everything for Dean. He hated seeing his older brother and hero look so sad and lost.

* * *

Kat sat in the booth at Sweet Dreams, Happy Mornings. She sipped her coffee. She glanced over and saw CJ talking on the phone while watching her. Kat rolled her eyes. She had no doubt that CJ was calling Jared and telling him that Kat was there and looked like she was doing fine. Kat looked down at the book she had in front of her. The truth was she wasn't doing fine. She was just faking it for Jensen and Jared. She knew that they worried about her so she was trying as best as she could to act like everything was all right with her. She tried to be her old self again to keep them from freaking out too much.

She sighed and closed her book. She looked at her hand and saw the scar there from the binding spell with Sam. She had noticed that it had come back since she had been back in this dimension. She winced as she felt a throb in her palm. She knew it was Sam. He was still trying to contact her. She had been feeling a throb in her palm on and off for a couple of weeks. She closed her hand and leaned back in the booth.

 _Doesn't he understand how hard it is for me? Doesn't he get that I can't talk to him?_ She thought to herself.

"Kat, you want some more coffee?" she heard CJ ask walking over.

Kat smiled at the kind smile that was on Jared's wife's face. She nodded. "More coffee sounds great."

CJ filled Kat's large mug. "You know, I am glad you are back. For a long time, Jensen was worried sick about you and he wasn't acting like himself."

Kat sighed. "Tell Roxy he is all hers."

CJ stopped pouring the coffee and looked at Kat confusion in her brown eyes. "I didn't mean-."

"I know you didn't but I am not blind either. Roxy doesn't come here when I am here, I have only met her like twice and both times she barely acknowledged me and sent Jensen looks that could kill. She loves him, CJ, I can see that. And Jensen needs to give up this pointless dream of me and him riding off into the sunset together and realize that he loves her too."

CJ looked at Kat and brushed a golden brown hair out of her face. "Something is different about you, Katerina. Before you use to look at Jensen with love in your eyes and I was pretty damn sure that you did love him."

Kat sighed. "I did."

"Then what happened?"

Kat shrugged and rubbed her chest over where her scar was. "I met someone else. Someone who I really think I really loved all along."

CJ frowned. "That doesn't make sense."

"I know."

* * *

Dean stood outside of the panic room and closed his eyes as Sam screamed. Things had gone downhill on the hunt and it turned out that they had been hunting Famine. Sam had felt the hunger for demon blood again and had given into it. Dean didn't care that they had gotten another ring of a horseman. Hearing Sam scream while he went through withdraw was not worth it to him. Especially not when Adora was upstairs crying not understanding why Dean wouldn't let her see her Uncle Sammy.

"Let me out! Please! Help!" Sam screamed.

Castiel looked at Dean and watched as his friend took a long sip from his bottle of whiskey. "Dean, that's not Sam in there. It's not really him," he tried.

"I know," Dean answered his voice tired and holding so much pain in it.

Castiel looked at Dean worried about the tone he had used. It sounded to Cas like Dean was finally giving up. Like he had finally reached that point where he could no longer fight; it scared Cas. "Dean, Sam just needs to get it out of his system. Then he'll-."

"Look, Cas I just," Dean shook his head and turned away, "I need some air."

Dean walked up the basement steps hearing Sam's scream slowly get further and further away. He pushed open the door and walked through it closing it behind him. He walked across the kitchen. He peeked in the doorway and saw Addie curled up on the couch beside Bobby. Bobby had fallen asleep his arms wrapped around Addie. Dean looked away knowing that his little girl had cried herself to sleep. He turned and walked out the back door into the scrap yard. He kept the bottle of whiskey by his side.

He walked away from the house and stopped when he found the rusted body of an old car. He leaned against it and took another drink from the bottle. He then set the bottle down on the hood of the car and felt tears come to his. He looked up at the sky.

"Please. I can't," he took a deep breath, "I just need some help here. Please?"

Dean didn't get an answer. He looked down at the ground and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I can't do this anymore. It's just too hard. And hearing about how perfect Kat and I were supposed to be didn't help. How," he looked up at the sky again, "How could you just let her leave me like that? If you really ordered us to be this perfect couple why the fuck did you let her walk away? I needed her!" Dean yelled grabbing the bottle and throwing it across the scrap yard. "I needed her," he muttered wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

Again the silence surrounded him. Dean rolled his eyes knowing that it was crazy of him to have expected an answer from God. He turned and walked back to the house. "Yeah, that's the answer I thought I would get," he muttered.

Gabriel watched him and felt his shoulders fall. "I know Dean, he never gives you the answer you want," he said before flying away. He needed to try and see if he could find out more information on the rumor he had heard of Zachariah sending an angel to go after Kat. If Zach had, then Gabriel needed to tell the Winchesters.


	7. Chapter 6

Kat walked into Sweet Dreams and couldn't believe that another week had gone by and she had survived it. She walked over to the line that was forming in front of the counter. She vaguely noticed the new man that was behind the counter but she dismissed him and went back to her thoughts of actually surviving another week without Sam, Dean, and Adora. It seemed like a miracle to her that she had made it. She racked a hand through her hair and tossed it over her shoulder. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She then had to make a hard effort and pushed all thoughts of her family aside. She opened her eyes and stepped up to counter. The man behind it smiled at her and Kat felt uncomfortable.

"What can I get you?" he asked.

"A coffee. Large," Kat answered looking at him and sensing something off about him. She looked at him more but nothing more came to her.

"Coming right up."

Kat walked over around the counter and stood off to the side. She watched as the man got her the coffee. She took it from him with a smile and then went and sat at a booth. She watched him and noticed that he kept his eyes on her. She turned away and looked down at the top of table in front of her.

 _Something is wrong here, Kitty Kat. You know that_ , she suddenly heard Dean's voice in her head.

"Yeah, I know babe. I just can't put my finger on it at the moment. Mind cluing me in while you're in my head?" She waited and didn't hear anything else. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, just like you, Dean to decide to leave me hanging right when I need you," she muttered.

She turned and watched as the man walked into the back. She sipped her coffee and tried to think about why he turned her off so much. She could sense that she knew but it just wasn't coming to her.

* * *

The demon smiled down at CJ as she was tied up and stuffed underneath the desk. She struggled and tried to kick him. He looked down at her and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Shh, little one. I really don't want to hurt you. I just came for Katerina. Don't tempt me to add you to my list," he said.

CJ moaned. The demon kneeled down and ran a finger down her cheek. "My name is Dominic, thank you for asking." CJ glared at him. He smiled at her though and let his finger run down her neck and to the neck of her shirt. "I spend hundreds of years in the pit. That was until the Dark Lord found me and gave me this mission. I will not fail him. I will kill Katerina. And you, if you are lucky, will get to watch me do it."

CJ screamed louder. Dominic sighed and grabbed a paper weight from the desk. He hit her on the side of the head careful not to use even half of his full strength. He watched as she passed out instantly. He stood and fixed his shirt. He looked down at CJ and shook his head.

"I really didn't want to hurt you but you made me do it," he sighed, "Oh well. I am sure the Dark Lord won't mind if I have fun with you too. As long as I get rid of Katerina it should all work out."

He smiled and walked back out to the front of the cafe. He saw Kat sitting in a booth drinking her coffee. He looked around and saw one other customer in the cafe. He would wait until they left and then he would strike. Katerina would not live to see another sunrise.

* * *

Dean watched as Addie slept. He thought about the hunt they were on. In the small town they were in there was apparently a prophet, Leah who was trying to get everyone to live their lives the moral way. There was a curfew and Leah had even demanded that the bars be shut down. Dean sighed and ran his hand over his face. The last few hunts had been horrible. First there had been the zombie rising in Sioux Falls, then he and Sam had been shot and sent to Heaven where they found out that God had taken a vacation. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Adora again.

He didn't know if he could keep up looking after her and hunting. This fight was just getting harder and harder. He finally knew that even God had skipped out on the end of the world so that meant that it was literally up to him, Sam, Cas and Bobby to stop it. They needed to save the world because Adora deserved to grow up in a safe world not knowing any of the horrors he had. He turned away from her and walked over to the fridge to get a beer. For the first time, he actually found himself thinking about what it would mean to agree to be Michael's vessel. If he did, they could end the fight. Right then and there. Michael could smite Lucifer and the end of the world would be prevented. He sighed when he remembered that in order for him to say yes, Kat would have to as well. He pondered those thoughts as he sipped his beer. The more he thought about it, the more he liked it. He turned when Sam stumbled into the room. Apparently his little brother had been drinking as well.

"Addie asleep?" Sam asked pulling off his jacket and tossing it on one of the beds.

"Yeah, she finally went down a few minutes ago," Dean said. He looked at Sam. "Sam, do you think that I am doing the right thing?"

Sam sat on the bed he had tossed his jacket on and pulled off his shoes. He looked up at Dean. "About what?"

"Addie. Do you think it is right to keep bringing her out on these hunts with us? I mean, she was fine with Bobby. Maybe I should have left her there."

Sam snorted. "Yeah, like Dad left us there." He stood and walked over to Dean. He stood across from him. "No, Dean you are doing what's right by bringing her with us. She needs you right now. You are her father and no one is ever going to love her as much as you do."

Dean nodded. He then looked away from Sam and took another sip from his beer. "Maybe Leah has the right idea."

Sam frowned. "What do you mean right idea? She has literally closed down the entire town, Dean."

Dean shrugged. "She's trying to save them all, Sam. And who knows, maybe she is right. Maybe that's what we need to do, hole up somewhere and just wait for the end. And when it comes, hell we may be on the winning team."

Sam looked at Dean like he had grown two heads. "Have you seriously lost your fucking mind? You have a daughter that needs you. We need to fight to make sure the end doesn't come. You know how many people will die, Dean."

"And why is that my problem, Sam? The only people I really care about are in this room. So, if you and Addie make it then I really don't care about the rest of them. I think maybe we should just stay out of Leah's way and let her do what she wants in this town."

"What's she doing is wrong, Dean. And you know it. She is going to lead this town to damnation not salvation."

Dean slammed his beer on the counter. He walked over to the door and grabbed his jacket from the hook beside the door. He pulled it on and turned to look at Sam. He didn't want to admit it but part of him knew that Sam had some valid points. He just didn't want to hear it at the moment. "I need to go for a beer," he said.

Sam snorted. "Good luck. The bar closed an hour ago."

"Then I am going for a walk."

"Be careful. The cops might arrest you if you aren't back before curfew."

Sam rolled his eyes when Dean slammed the door. He turned and looked at Addie. In true Winchester fashion she had slept through the whole thing. He walked over to the crib and kneeled beside it. He reached in and took Adora's hand. He smiled at her and watched her sleep. "You know, I very much doubt that your Daddy would be acting like so much like an ass if your Mommy was here. Kat had a way of talking to Dean to make him see that he was being crazy."

Addie didn't say anything. Sam just watched her sleep. Part of him was worried about what Dean was going to do. The other part of him though felt reassured in the knowledge that he couldn't say yes to Michael. That option wasn't on the table and that brought some relief to Sam's mind.

* * *

Kat finished her coffee. She sat back in the booth and looked around the cafe. She was the only one in there now. She looked at the clock and frowned. CJ should have been come in hours ago. Kat turned and looked at the man standing behind the counter. The last customer had left about twenty minutes before. She watched as the man grabbed the keys and then walked to the door. She watched him lock it and suddenly alarm bells started going off. She slid out of the booth and went to walk past him to the door. The man though grabbed her arm and pulled her against him.

"Let me go," Kat said trying to pull away.

"I'm sorry, Katerina, but I can't. I have my orders," he said.

Kat watched as his eyes turned black. She swore and pressed her hand on his chest. He flew away from her and she made a run for the doors. She yelled when he grabbed her hair and yanked her back. She fell on the floor and he began to drag her across from it. She grabbed a hold of a chair and managed to slow him down. She heard his laughter.

"Apparently everyone was lying when they said you were tough. I can't see it. I mean look at you. You are screaming like a common woman. Not even the slightest sign of the power that you have inside of you," he said letting go of her hair and looking down at her.

Kat rolled on her stomach and pushed herself up on her hands and knees. She looked at the demon. She closed her eyes and muttered a soft incantation. A moment later all the sprinklers in the cafe all came on. She looked at him and saw the smile on his face as she pushed herself up on her feet.

"It's just water," he said laughing, "It's not holy water."

Kat sighed. "You're right. It's not," she dug into her bag at her side and pulled out a rosary she carried with her. She kissed it and then muttered a prayer. She then tossed the rosary on the floor where pools of water were forming. She smiled as the demon began to yell as his feet and ankles began to smoke. "Now it is."

Dominic roared in rage. He lunged across the water and grabbed Kat by the throat. They fell onto a table in one of the booths. He squeezed her throat tighter and tighter loving the sounds of her struggling for breath. He smiled when she reached out and scratched his cheek. He felt the blood roll down his neck but he didn't let go. "Lucifer sent me to kill you and I will not disappoint him."

Kat tried to pull his hands off of her neck. She closed her eyes as everything started to go dark. She knew she had to keep fighting but it just seemed hopeless at the moment. Giving up seemed easier. She felt like if she gave up she would be free. Everything would be better and she would be happy. She let the darkness pull her further in. She sensed that the end was coming closer and she actually welcomed it.


	8. Chapter 7

_**For the heart I'll never have**_ _ **  
**_ _ **For the child forever gone**_

Jensen jogged down the street and to the cafe. He had heard from Jared that Kat was spending her time at Sweet Dreams now. Apparently Kat would rather spend time with CJ then with him. And that bothered him. He wanted to regain that friendship that they had had. He knew though that he couldn't be the only one who worked at it. Kat had to too. And at the moment, she seemed to want to wallow more in her hurt and pain that have a few moments of laughter with him.

He came to the door of the cafe and went to push it open. It didn't budge. He looked inside confused. CJ never closed in the middle of the day. He looked around the room. He stopped when he saw a man on one of the booth tables. He was straddling a woman and choking her. It took a moment but Jensen realized that the woman being strangled was Kat. He cursed and backed away from the door. Without a second thought to how Dean Winchester-ish it was, he elbowed the window hard three times before the glass shattered. He quickly unlocked the door and ran inside. He skidded to a stop in front of the booth the water sloshing against his jeans. The man turned and looked at him. Jensen took a step back when he saw that the man's eyes were black.

"Well, would you look at that? Dean Winchester has a twin. Well, Lucifer didn't say anything about killing you, but I think he would appreciate the bonus," the demon said letting go of Kat.

Jensen looked at Kat and hated how still she was. He prayed she wasn't dead. He looked back at the demon. "So, Lucifer sent you to kill Kat, huh?" he said hoping he could keep the demon talking long enough to figure out what to do.

"Yes, I am. The Dark Lord needs Sam as a meat suit and he can't say yes unless little Kat is dead. And I do think I have accomplished what I came here to do. Although, I did promise CJ that I would have some fun with her first before I went back home."

Jensen felt bile rise in his throat. "You leave CJ alone."

The demon laughed, "Oh really? And who is going to stop me? You?"

Jensen cursed as the demon put out his hand and Jensen flew across the room and slammed into the wall. He winced and fell to the floor. He coughed and rolled on his back. "So not as fun as it looks on TV," he muttered trying to find the strength to push himself back up.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," the demon said nodding as he moved his hand and sent Jensen flying into the ceiling. He was going to enjoy beating up the Dean Winchester look alike. After that he would keep his promise to CJ and then he would leave this god awful world and head back home. He laughed when Jensen yelled in pain. This really had been too easy.

* * *

Sam turned when the door to the room opened and closed. He frowned when he saw Cas not Dean walk back into the room. His frown deepened when he saw the angel stumble. He walked over to Cas as the angel leaned against the wall. Cas looked up at him and Sam could swear that the angel looked drunk.

"Cas, are you okay?" Sam asked as the angel walked further into the room.

Cas walked closer to Sam and gestured him closer. Sam leaned forward and Cas leaned forward as well. "Don't ask stupid questions," Cas whispered in Sam's ear.

Sam pulled away and wrinkled his nose. He could smell the booze on Cas. "Are you drunk?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"I found a liquor store."

"And?"

"I drank it."

Sam looked at Castiel and didn't know what else to say. He was saved the trouble when Gabriel appeared in the room. Sam took a step back confused and slightly surprised to see the arch angel again. Castiel was surprised as well and he turned and glared at Gabriel.

"You knew that our father had abandoned us, didn't you?" Castiel demanded.

"Brother, I would love to stand here and chit chat about our absentee father but right now I have more important things to get done," Gabriel looked around the room. He frowned and looked at Sam. "Where's the surly short one?" he asked.

"Dean went out," Sam answered still confused.

"Seriously? He goes out now? He does now that Katerina needs him right?"

Sam and Cas both looked at Gabriel. "What do you know?" they demanded at the same time.

Gabriel took a step back and held up his hands, "You know you guys need to knock it off with the Double Mint routine. People are going start to talk."

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose while Castiel looked at Gabriel confused, "I don't understand," he muttered.

"Why don't you tell us what is going on with Katerina," Sam said glaring at Gabriel.

"Lucifer sent a demon to go and kill her. I thought Dean would be here and up for a little trip to help save her. Cause all she has over there is a couple of Winchester wannabes."

"Katerina is witch. I believe she can look after herself," Castiel said walking over to the couch and falling on it. He really didn't feel like talking about Kat anymore. He would rather sit there and pity himself and feel anger towards God. He felt that was more productive.

"Normally she could. Apparently though, she has decided that it is easier to just give in this time," Gabriel said.

"Give in?" Sam asked not liking the sound of that at all.

Gabriel nodded. "She wants to die, Sam. I can feel her. She is lingering between heaven and earth right now but she wants to let go completely. She isn't strong enough to kill this demon."

Sam nodded. He walked over to the weapons bag and pulled out Ruby's knife. He then walked over to Addie's crib and leaned down. He kissed his niece softly on the head and whispered in her ear that everything would be all right. He turned and looked at Cas. He gave the angel a hard look. "You watch her and keep her safe. Understand?" he demanded.

Castiel looked at Sam. "I will watch the child. I am drunk not stupid," he answered.

"Could have fooled me, little brother," Gabriel added. He looked at Sam. "Are you ready?"

Sam walked over to him and nodded. He sighed. "Dean is going to kill me when he finds out."

"It'll be fine. He has a whore to worry about."

Sam gave him a look and Gabriel placed his fingers on Sam's forehead and there was a bright flash of light.

* * *

Jensen coughed up blood as he landed on a table. It broke and he fell to the floor. He winced and just laid in the water. He didn't know how it was that Sam and Dean could get thrown around so much and still do the crazy job they did. He turned and glanced over to where Kat laid. She still hadn't moved. He pushed himself up and stood on shaky feet. He spit blood out of his mouth and smiled at the demon.

"For someone so powerful, you sure do take your time killing someone. What's a matter got performance anxiety?" he asked smirking.

The demon looked at Jensen and shook his head. "You know for a minute there I thought that you were Dean. You really are good at pretending to be him. Too bad you aren't good enough to actually get into Kat's pants using it."

Jensen felt his anger flare. He was about to spear the demon in the water when he saw something appear off to the side. He turned and was shocked when he saw Sam and the Trickster. He opened his mouth but didn't have the chance to say anything when Sam walked over to the demon and grabbed him. He shoved what looked like Ruby's knife into the demon's chest.

"Sam?" the demon demanded as an orange light burned in his eyes.

"You damn right, it's me. You don't get to touch Kat and get away with it. Have fun wherever the hell dead demons go," Sam said yanking the knife out.

Jensen watched as the demon's body fell to the floor and died. Jensen walked over to Sam and the Trickster and looked at both of them. Sam turned and looked at him. Jensen suddenly felt anger built up and before he knew it he had raised his arm and punched Sam right in the jaw. The trickster took a step back and went over to Kat to heal her and lead her back to the world of the willing. He didn't care if she was willing to come or not.

"What the hell?" Sam demanded turning to look at Jensen.

"What the hell?! What do you think, Sam?! You show up now! NOW! Where the fuck were you when she first got here? Do you have any idea of all the shit that she has gone through since coming back here?! Do you even care?!" Jensen yelled at him.

Sam turned and looked at Kat who was slowly coming around. He turned back and looked at Jensen. "She left, Jensen. She left thinking that it would keep everyone she loved safe. I was not going to come here and be an ass and try to get her to come home. She'll come home when it's over. I know that. Maybe you should stop protecting her and actually try listening to her for once. She is a pretty smart woman once you get to know her."

"Do not pull that crap. I knew her years before you did."

"Wrong. I don't think you knew her at all."

Kat opened her eyes and winced as the brightness surrounded her. She turned and groaned when she saw Gabriel standing beside her. She shoved him aside and slowly pushed herself up. She raked a hand through her hair and looked around the cafe. She frowned when she saw Jensen looking like he had gone a few rounds with a cement wall. She then saw the body of the demon on the floor. She looked up and saw Sam walking towards her. She knew it was Sam because he held Ruby's knife in his hand and was wiping it against his jacket. She climbed off the table and walked over to him. She was immediately yanked into his arms and held against him.

"Sam, what are you-," she started.

"What the hell were you thinking? You don't get to give up, Katerina. Adora needs you," Sam said pulling away from her and giving her a little shake.

Kat nodded and felt tears come to her eyes. "I just thought about how much easier it would be for everyone. Especially Dean. He is in so much pain. If I was gone-."

Sam put his hand over Kat's mouth. "No. He would be worse with you dead. Knowing you are still alive keeps him going, Kat. You know that."

She nodded. She turned and looked at Jensen as he walked over. "Sorry, Jen about the beat down you got," she said softly.

"Oh, it's fine, really. I mean now I actually have the bruises all over my face, I won't need to sit in make up for hours getting them," he said sarcastically.

Sam frowned and looked at Kat. "Maybe you should get some new friends while you're here."

She smacked him on the chest and looked at Gabriel. "Let me guess, I have you to thank for this rescue?"

"Why of course pretty lady. And I come bearing more gifts," he pulled out an angelic blade from his jacket, "Just in case any of my brothers decide to visit next."

Kat took the blade and swung it around. She nodded and then turned to look at Sam. She gave him a sad smile and hugged him. "You better get back. I got to call the cops and everything."

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I should get back. I left Addie with Cas."

Jensen snorted. "Ten bucks says he lost her."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Is there anything you want me to tell Dean?"

Kat pulled away and nodded. She felt tears roll down her cheeks. "Tell him I'm okay. And tell him that I know you two can do this. I know you'll stop the world from ending. I believe in him still."

Sam nodded. He kissed Kat on the forehead. "Be safe, Katerina. We still need you."

"All right enough of this touchy feely crap. See you around, Kat," Gabriel said touching Sam's forehead and then they were gone.

Kat wiped away her tears and walked over to the booth. She shoved the angelic blade in her bag. She then turned and looked at Jensen. He looked like he was going to fall over at any moment. She walked over to him and shoved him in a chair. She then pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Call the cops then Jared. I'll go get CJ," she said.

"Why didn't you go back with them?" Jensen asked looking at her.

Kat gave him a sad smile and kissed him on the cheek. "I didn't go back because going back wouldn't fix anything. It would just make things worse. Now call the cops."

Jensen watched her walk to the back and he shook his head. Maybe Sam was right; maybe he didn't know Kat anymore.


	9. Chapter 8

Jared ran down the hall and slide into the waiting room of the hospital. He saw Kat sitting there reading a magazine. She looked up and saw him. She walked over to him. He looked down at her and saw that she looked guilty and ashamed.

"What the fuck happened?" he demanded letting her pull him into a smaller corner of the waiting room.

"A demon showed up at the shop. He tied CJ up and stuffed her under her desk. He," Kat raked a hand through her hair and looked away from Jared, "he was waiting for me to show up."

Jared looked at Kat. He leaned against the wall. "How bad did he hurt my wife?"

"He hit her in the head," he turned and looked at Kat again when he heard her start to cry, "This is my fault, Jared. I should have been the one he hit, not CJ. She had nothing to do with any of this and she is the one who ended up hurt the most because of it."

Jared looked at his friend. He loved Kat and hated that at that moment all he felt when he saw her was anger. He wanted to grab her and shake her. She had known the risks but she had still come back and put everyone in danger. He then thought about her little girl, Adora. Kat had come back to protect her. Jared thought about LT and knew that he would move mountains to protect his son. Suddenly all the anger that he had been holding just seemed to disappear. He reached out and grabbed Kat and pulled her in his arms. He held her against him and rested his chin on her head.

"It's not your fault, Kitty Kat," he whispered, "you didn't know."

Kat shook her head and wrapped her arms around Jared's waist. "I knew, Jared. I knew they would come for me and I did nothing to keep the people I loved safe. I'm to blame here."

Jared hugged her tighter. He closed his eyes and remembered a time when everything was so much easier between them. He thought back to the beginning and how much fun Jensen, Kat and him would have running away from Cliff and getting off the set and just going for walks and coffee. He remembered lots of all nighters pulled in Kat's apartment, Jensen's apartment and his house watching horror movies, action movies laughing and throwing popcorn at each other. Jared wanted those days back. He pulled away from Kat when he felt her push at him. He looked at her and brushed the hair from hair from her face.

"CJ's room is down the hall. Room 134. Jensen is still being looked at by the doctors," Kat said wiping away her tears.

"Jensen got hurt too?" Jared asked.

"Yeah, he tried to pull off being Dean. Didn't go so well."

"Never does."

Jared saw Kat smile. She then sighed. "I'm going to head home. I'm drained and just want to crawl into bed and never climb out," she told him.

Jared nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her on the head. "I'll call you later once I know how Jensen and CJ are."

Kat nodded. She patted him on the chest. "You know Jared, I'm sorry for not being a better friend to you all those years before."

Jared shrugged. "I forgive you. You're here now and can change that."

Jared saw Kat just nod and then she turned and walked away. Jared watched her leave and frowned when he saw the sad slope of her shoulders. He sighed and watched her turn the corner. He hated how much sadness that Kat carried in her. He wished that he knew how to tell her that what had happened wasn't her fault. He knew though that she would never believe him. He turned and walked down the hall towards his wife's room. He wanted to make sure that she was all right.

* * *

Dean looked at Sam. Sam leaned against the wall his arms crossed on his chest. Cas was pacing the sidewalk outside with Addie in his arms. The drunken angel had muttered something about children being innocent and then picked up Adora and walked outside. Dean hadn't said anything to Sam since Gabriel had dropped him off and then flew the coop. Dean was pretty sure he didn't know what to say.

"I went because you weren't here," Sam said softly.

Dean nodded. "I know. How was she?"

Sam looked down. "She was going to die. Gabriel said she wanted to give up."

Dean blinked away the tears in his eyes. He turned and walked over to the fridge running a hand over his face. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. "After everything now she wants to give up?" he asked.

He looked at Sam and saw his brother look away with his jaw clenched. "Sammy, you know something, don't you?"

"She said she thought it would be easier on everyone. She said she thought it would be easier on you."

Dean closed his eyes and felt his heart ache. He turned around his back facing Sam. He sipped his beer needing something to help give him strength. He opened his eyes and looked down at Kat's bracelet that was still wrapped around his wrist. He knew that there was no way in hell that his life would be better without her. It damn sure wouldn't be easier if she died. She was what he was fighting for. He was fighting to get everything back to the way it was so that Kat could come home. There would be no point if he couldn't get her back here so she could be with Addie. He wiped the tears from his eyes and turned back and looked at Sam. He saw that his little brother also had tears in his eyes.

"All right, about what is going on here in this town," Dean said.

Sam gave him a look. "Dean, aren't you-."

Dean shook his head. He gave his brother a pleading look. "I can't Sam. I can't stand here and talk about how damn lucky you were to go there and see her. I want to ask you how she looked, if she was okay but in reality I know I can't. I am barely making it through the day here without her. The last thing I need is for you to tell me everything you saw and have that kicking around in my head. She's alive and that's all I can handle knowing right now."

Sam nodded. "Okay, Dean. We'll do it your way. Cas, we need your help."

Dean watched as Sam walked outside to talk to Cas. Dean finished his beer and closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted so badly to reach out to Kat again. Instead he opened his eyes and placed his empty beer on the table and walked to the fridge for another one. He thought maybe Castiel had the right idea and getting drunk seemed like the best game plan at the moment.

* * *

Kat walked into her apartment. She slammed the door and leaned against it. She slid down to the floor and tossed her bag beside her. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her arms on them. She then lowered her head and rested her forehead on her arms. Only then did she let tears roll down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and sobbed. She thought about Jensen and CJ getting hurt because of her. She had known that demons and angels would come looking for her. Hell, she was slightly surprised it had taken so long. She had just thought that whenever they showed up, they would go straight to her. She had thought that they would leave everyone else alone and just take her out; or at least try to. She now knew how naive she had been. Of course the angels and demons would go after the people she cared about. They didn't have a conscious, they didn't care. All they cared about was their damn apocalypse and making sure that they brought about the end of the world. Who cared if innocent people got killed along the way; it was all in the name of the greater good.

Kat looked up and banged her head on her door. She wiped away her tears and looked straight ahead of her. She saw the wall with the blackened mirror staring at her. She knew what she had to do. Angels would come for her next and there was no way in hell she was going to let Jensen and Jared get involved with them. She had to leave again. She had to pack up her things and go somewhere and wait for the angels to find her. She sighed and pushed herself to her feet.

She walked down the hall and to the bedroom. She walked to the closet and pushed aside the blackened mirrored doors. She grabbed a duffel bag and began stuffing clothes in it. It still shocked her a little that Jensen had packed up all her things from her old apartment and put them into storage for her. He had seriously thought that one day she would come back. She stuffed the bag with clothes and then zipped it closed and grabbed a smaller one. She grabbed the last shirt to stuff in the bag but stopped. It was a shirt she had stolen from set. It was the brown plaid one that Jensen had worn in Season 2 during the filming of the Nightshifter episode. Kat had grabbed it declaring it her favorite shirt. Jensen had laughed and let her take it. She held it in her hands and walked over to the bed. She sat on it and looked at the shirt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Everything was so damn easier then," she muttered. She tossed the other duffel aside and tossed the shirt on the bed. She began to pull off her still damp clothes. She stopped when her phone rang. She walked over to the nightstand and picked it up.

"Hello," she said pulling off her bra and grabbing the shirt again. She pulled it on and did up the buttons quickly.

"Hey, it's Jensen. Jared told me you went home to rest," she heard Jensen say. She undid her jeans and pushed them down. She kicked them aside and walked over to her dresser for a clean pair.

"Yeah, it was a long day and I really just wanted to cry alone for once."

"Kat."

Kat sighed. She pulled open a drawer and pulled out a pair of light wash jeans. She pulled them on holding the phone against her shoulder and cheek. "Jensen, you and CJ were hurt because of me. That demon was after me, not you. I should have never left. I should have stayed with Dean and fight."

"You did it for your daughter. I'll admit, I don't understand how you feel. I can't. I don't have a kid that I love. But I know that I love you. You wouldn't just abandon your child. You did it to protect her and keep her safe. What happened today wasn't your fault, Kat. It was the fault of whoever sent that demon."

Kat snorted as she did up her jeans. "Blaming the devil for everything gets old after a while, Jen."

"Haha. Glad you haven't lost your sense of humor."

Kat walked back to her dresser and began pulling out clothes and tossing them on the bed. "Thanks. Listen, are you okay? Like no broken bones or anything right?"

She heard Jensen sigh. "Some bruised ribs, one cracked one. Lots of bruises but the doctor told me it could have been worse. I told him I had some Winchester luck on my side. I think he almost ordered a psych evaluation and then Jared walked in."

Kat laughed a little. "Maybe he should have. I always said there was something wrong with you."

"Yeah, there had to be. I let a great woman like you get away."

"Jensen."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry, I had to say it. Anyway, I just wanted to call to make sure you were okay. You get some rest. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye Jen."

"See yeah Kitty Kat."

Kat hung up and tossed the phone aside. She then busied herself stuffing the second duffel. Once it was full, she grabbed the two bags and walked to the door. She slipped on a pair of flip flops and grabbed her other bag from the floor. She took one last look around her apartment. She hadn't liked this one as much as her old one. She pulled open the door and walked out slamming the door behind her. She was ready to disappear.

* * *

A/N: Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Work has been... well stressful. I mean, honestly I had more free time when I was in university writing papers. Anywho, I have not forgotten about my stories and I do try to write every week... Even if it is only a paragraph or two. I will attempt to keep posting on this story and actually start posting some of my other ones. Again, sorry I haven't posted in awhile, hope you enjoyed these chapters. See you in the next ones!


	10. Chapter 9

Dean held a sleeping Addie in his arms as he walked up the steps to Lisa's home. He took a long deep breath. He knew that once Sam found out what he had done, his little brother would kick his ass. Dean knew though that Addie needed to be somewhere safe when the end of the world came. He was going to put her first and make sure that she was well taken care of before he did anything.

He lifted up his hand and knocked on the door. He looked down at Adora as he waited for Lisa to open the door. He put on a brave smile when he heard the door open and Lisa stood there shocked to see him. She looked doubly shocked when she saw the baby in his arms.

"Dean, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came because you're the only person outside of my family that I trust. Some stuff is going to happen and I need you to watch over Adora for me. She's my daughter," he explained quickly.

Lisa shook her head, "Why don't you come in for a beer and-."

"I can't, there isn't time. Listen, I know I have no right to ask this but I need you to look after my daughter. Her mom left trying to keep her safe and I am just trying to do the same thing here. I am going to make sure that you, Ben and her are protected. Please, could you do this?"

Dean felt the tears in his eyes and he really hoped that they didn't roll down his cheeks. He looked at Lisa and he saw the debate happening in her face. He needed her to protect Adora. He knew that Kat planned on coming back but until then he knew that the safest place for Addie was away from him and Sam and hunting. He needed to protect her and having her stay with Lisa seemed like the best way to do that.

He smiled relieved when Lisa reached out for Adora. He placed his daughter in her arms and then handed her the bag he had packed and swung over his shoulder. He looked at Lisa holding his daughter and suddenly he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He leaned in and kissed Adora on the forehead.

"You'll be safe here, Addie. I promise that Mommy will come back and get you. I love you so much," he told her softly.

"Dean, I..." Lisa paused and looked into his eyes, "Be safe," was all she managed to say.

Dean nodded. He kissed Lisa on the cheek then turned and walked away. He walked back to the impala and forced himself not to look back. He had accomplished what he needed to; Adora was safe. Now all he had to do was try and end the apocalypse from happening so that she would continue to grow up in a safe world. He climbed into the impala and sighed. That didn't sound hard at all.

* * *

Kat paced the cabin twirling the angel blade around in her hand. She stopped pacing and turned to look at the clock. She was slowly going insane. She knew that leaving the city would protect Jensen and Jared and everyone else she cared about. She had forgotten however how quiet and boring being up on the mountain could be. She walked over to the couch and fell on it staring at the ceiling of the cabin.

The cabin had belonged to her grandparents and had been given to her mother after their deaths. Once Kat had turned eighteen, the cabin had become her property and she had tried to sell it on numerous occasions. For some damn reason though, no one was ever serious about buying it. She had been able to rent it out several times but mostly it had lain empty. Now though, she was glad that it was empty. It was the perfect place for a showdown with angels.

"If they ever show up," she muttered to herself.

She couldn't understand why she hadn't had any sign of angels coming to get her. Everything was normal and it seemed like the angels weren't even looking for her. She doubted that though. The angels would want her gone so that Dean could say yes to Michael. Gabriel had basically told her that the angels were gunning for her. They were just apparently a lot more patience than the demons. She frowned and stood up and starting pacing again.

"Why be more patience though? The sooner I am dead, the sooner that you can pressure Sam and Dean into saying yes?" she muttered as she paced. "What is gained by waiting?"

She twirled the angel blade around and around as she paced trying to answer her questions. For the first time in a long while she wished that Castiel was there with her. Then she could pick his brain as to how angels thought. That is of course assuming angels actually had brains and planned strategies. She raked a hand through her hair and continued to pace.

"Come on, Kat think. Sam and Dean are the only ones who can wear Lucifer and Michael to the prom. They are part of the bloodline. It comes from John and was passed down generations and generations and... Holy shit," she muttered as she stopped pacing, "Adam."

She suddenly remembered Dean and Sam's younger brother. Adam and his mother had been killed by ghouls and one of the ghouls had pretended to be Adam to lure Sam and Dean into town to kill them as well because John had killed the ghouls' father. Kat looked at the angel blade and shook her head.

"Adam is dead. He can't say yes to Michael. He is gone. That doesn't do the angels any good," she muttered softly. She then swore and closed her eyes, "Unless of course the angels decide to pull some Easter fun and resurrect Adam just so that he can say yes to them," she sighed, "which of course knowing how Winchester luck is, that is exactly what they are going to do."

She walked back over to the couch and flopped down on it. "This is just fucking fantastic. They won't be coming after me anytime soon. They have a plan B. Once they have Adam, they just gotta figure out how to make Sam say yes. Awesome. Just fucking awesome," she said to herself rubbing her temple, "I need a drink."

She got up and walked into the small kitchen and opened the door to the old fridge. She pulled out a bottle of beer and opened it. She leaned against the counter and took a long sip of the beer. She suddenly felt like her leaving to protect Sam and Dean was the stupidest plan she had ever thought of.

* * *

Sam sat at Bobby's kitchen table and looked down at the letter in his hands. It was addressed to him from Dean. When he and Castiel had gotten Dean from the motel room, Sam had seen the box and grabbed it. He had opened it moments ago and found Dean's gun, their dad's old leather jacket and three letters inside. One for him, one for Adora and finally one for Kat. Sam had put the ones for Kat and Adora in his duffel bag thinking that one day, he might give them the letters. Once the whole apocalypse mess was over with and they were a family again. He had opened his envelope and pulled the letter out. He hadn't started to read it instead he had sat there and stared at it wondering what Dean could possible say to him that he hadn't said before. Sam took a deep breath and began reading the letter.

 _Sam,_

 _Where do I start? I guess with an apology. I'm sorry I was so hard on you for leaving me and Dad. I get it now. I know why you did it. You just wanted a normal life. There was nothing wrong with that. There is still nothing wrong with that. I still blame myself for what happened. I shouldn't have gone to get you at Stanford. I really had no right. You were happy and I went to get you and it all went to hell. I should have left you there. I had no right to drag you back into this mess of a life._

 _I guess in the end though, it doesn't matter because we probably would have still ended up here. Growing up hunting was all we ever knew. Maybe if Mom hadn't have died, or if Dad hadn't had vowed for revenge, our lives would have been different. Maybe you would have ended up a lawyer and me a mechanic living in Lawrence. We didn't get that choice though. I know that you still think we can't walk away from this life, and maybe you are right. I just don't want Adora to think the same way._

 _I'm going to say yes, Sam. I know you'll hate me for it and you'll have a hundred reasons why I shouldn't but I just don't want Addie growing up in this life. I'm tired and I'm done. I don't want this life anymore and even more than that, I don't want you to live this life anymore either. I want more for you, Sammy. You're my little brother and I want you to go out and live the live that was taken from you. I want you to go and become a lawyer._

 _I am going to stop this and fix everything. Once I am gone, it'll be up to you to watch over Adora. Make sure that she grows up to be everything that we couldn't be. Make sure that you look after her and Kat. When Kat comes back tell her that she was and is the only woman I will ever love. Kitten is the only one I could see myself spending forever with. You tell her that._

 _Take care of yourself, Sammy. You go out there and you live your life. I know that you can be anything you want to be. And remember me once and while, will you? Remember the happy times. Take care of my wheels. Most of all remember everything I taught you and teach it to your kids and mine._

 _Dean._

Sam dropped the letter on the table and wiped the tears from his eyes. He leaned back in the chair and looked up at the ceiling. He knew that Dean had written everything in the letter that he had always been too afraid to say out loud. He looked back down at the letter. Part of him wanted to yell and scream at Dean that none of what happened was his fault. Dean hadn't known that Jess would die and it killed Sam that even after all this time his brother still blamed himself.

Sam folded up the letter and tucked it back in the envelope. He got up and walked into the living room and the couch where he had thrown his duffel bag. He tucked the letter inside of it and turned around. Castiel stood in the living room looking very out of place in Bobby's living room.

"Dean is secure in the panic room. He is not very happy," Cas said walking over to Sam.

"I didn't think he would be. After all, we busted him and stopped him from going through with his great plan."

Cas frowned, "His plan was not great. It was idiocy."

Sam sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I know, Cas. I was being sarcastic."

The angel looked at him even more confused. "Then why did you not just say that?"

Sam opened his mouth but swallowed his reply. He knew there was no answer he could give that wouldn't turn into a circular conversation with Cas. He just nodded and began to walk out of the living room. "Let's go talk to Dean," Sam said heading towards the stairs.

He heard Cas's wings and knew that the angel had flown down to the basement and would be waiting for him in front of the panic room. Sam took a deep breath and opened the door to the stairs. He looked down and then slowly descended. He knew that whatever conversation he was about to have with Dean was not going to be fun at all.


	11. Chapter 10

Kat sat in the circle and looked around her at the candles. She rubbed her sweaty palms on her jeans and then held them up in front of her. She closed her eyes. She then opened them and double checked that the angel blade was beside her. She then closed them again.

"I am so asking to get myself killed," she muttered softly.

She took a deep breath and began the chant in Enochian. She hoped that the spell she had chosen was the right one. It was a spell to summon an angel. Her fear was that it would just summon an ordinary angel and not Gabriel. She really needed to talk to him and make sure that she knew exactly what was going on with Dean. However, if the spell only summoned a regular angel, she knew that she wouldn't live very long into the future.

She finished the chant and opened her eyes. She slowly lowered her hands and grabbed the angel blade with one hand. She sat there waiting. Moments passed and then minutes but nothing happened. She sighed and cursed slightly.

"Well, then. Nice to know that that spell was useless," she said slowly climbing to her feet.

"It wasn't useless. I just like the view better from back here," Gabriel said from behind her.

Kat rolled around and held the angel blade in her hands. She looked at Gabriel and shook her head. "If I didn't need info about Dean, I would so stab you."

Gabriel wriggled his eyebrows. "Stab me in a dead kind of way or a naughty kind of way?"

Kat shook her head. "I'm going to need some alcohol for this conversation," she said walking over to the fridge.

"I could go for some of that."

Kat grabbed two beers and asked herself when her life had slowly started to go down the toilet.

* * *

Dean looked across the panic room at Sam. Sam stood there and looked at him. Dean hated the look that was on Sam's face. It was one of worry. Dean looked away and really wished that his little brother had just left him alone.

"So, Lisa called me back. Addie is doing all right. She keeps crying for her Daddy though," Sam said.

Dean winced, "Don't go there, Sam."

"Don't go there? Adora is the only thing left worth fighting for, Dean. I thought you knew that. She needs her father. You're the one who told me that Addie needed both of us so neither one of us could say yes. And now..."

Dean looked at Sam and gave him a hard cold look. "Now, what, Sammy? Do you really think we have another choice here? We lost Mom, you lost Jess. Dad, Jo, Ellen," Dean closed his eyes, "Kat," he whispered, "how many more people am I supposed to let fight with us just so that they can lose?"

"Katerina isn't lost, Dean. She is out there trusting us to look after Adora. And you go and drop her off at Lisa's."

Dean stood up. "I left my daughter where she would be safe. I am done doing this, Sam. I can't... I just can't do this anymore."

"Do what, Dean? Fight?"

Dean shook his head sadly. "No, fight with you. I'm sorry, Sam but part of me just knows that I can't trust you like that again. I can't trust you not to say yes."

Dean saw the anger in his little brother's eyes and the disappointment. Dean could handle the anger. He was use to having Sam's anger directed at him. He didn't think he could handle the disappointment though and had to look away.

"Don't you say that to me. Not you," Sam stated.

Dean shrugged, "It's true and I think you know that too."

Sam shook his head. He turned to leave the panic room. He stopped and turned back to look at Dean. "If Kat was here right now, she'd kick your ass ten ways from Sunday. You know that right? She still believes in you, Dean. She needs you to stay around. If you go and do this, tell me what was the whole point of her sacrifice?"

Dean watched as Sam opened the door and walked out. Dean rested his head on the iron wall of the panic room. He closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath. He hated that he knew that Sam was right. He just couldn't sit around though and wait for Kat's plan to work. She was gone and he was there with Adora. He had to think of Adora and put their daughter first. He opened his eyes and blinked away the tears in them. One fell and rolled down his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Kitten. I'm sorry that I couldn't just sit around and trust you," he whispered, "I never seem to have enough trust in you."

* * *

"Come on, Gabe, I don't have all night. I know that you know the angels' plan," Kat said finishing her second beer. She looked over at Gabriel who had finished off the rest of the beer she had had in the fridge. She raised an eyebrow at the ten bottles that were around him. However, the beer didn't seem to have an effect on him at all.

"I know their plan and so do you. They want Dean and Sam to say yes," Gabriel answered looking at her. He frowned, "wow, you were so much prettier before I drank all that beer."

Kat rolled her eyes. "Thanks. I am asking if they have a backup plan. Like, oh, I dunno... Raising a certain brother from the dead."

Gabriel looked at her confused. "Like who?"

"Adam. He was Sam and Dean's younger brother."

Gabriel looked at her shocked and then smirked. "I knew John Winchester had a naughty steak. So, he had himself a little secret love child."

Kat made a face. "Could you please not ever say John Winchester and love child in the same sentence again? It gives me some really disturbing pictures in my head."

Gabriel smirked. "Well, I guess it is true. Like father, like son."

Kat grabbed a beer bottle and threw it at him. "Gabe, are you going to answer me or not?"

Gabriel nodded. He stood and began to pace. "I don't know anything for sure, but I will say that... It is very possible that Zachariah would raise Adam. I mean, he could brain wash the poor innocent baby Winchester and Adam would probably fall from it, hook, line and sinker. I mean, angels are good and trustworthy beings. Right?" he finished a sarcastic smirk on his face.

Kat rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right," she fell back on the couch and stared at the ceiling, "So, I basically came all the way over here for nothing."

"No, cause even if they raise Adam and get him to say yes, they need you dead to get Sam to say yes. So, you see, you coming here wasn't completely in vain."

Kat closed her eyes. "Why do the angels even want the freaking apocalypse anyway? I mean, you would think that they actually liked humans. I mean, God did create us in his own image. Or least, that's what every single preacher from here to the other side of the world would say."

Gabriel walked over to her and sat beside her feet. He looked at her. "The truth is, they are doing this because my lovely father has taken a leave of absence, apparently from Heaven."

Kat frowned. "Are you telling me God took a vacation?"

Gabriel nodded. "Yeah, he did."

Kat closed her eyes again. "Wow, the world must really be fucked up if God decided to abandon us."

Gabriel pat her leg. "Don't worry. We have the Winchesters working on it. They'll fix it."

Kat opened her eyes and looked at Gabriel. "That's not really making me feel any better, you know."

"I know. But can't say I didn't try," Gabriel stood up, "So, is that all you will be needing from me?"

Kat sighed. "Yeah, I guess. Just, keep an eye on Sam and Dean for me. Make sure that they don't screw things up."

"I'll try but they are Winchesters. Winchesters always seem to screw things up."

Kat watched as he disappeared. She ran her hands over her face and stared up at the ceiling again. "Please don't do anything stupid, guys. Please," she whispered as a prayer.

* * *

Sam stood in the middle of the junkyard and screamed. Adam had just managed to sneak out of Bobby's and that was after Dean had made a break from it. Sam sighed and looked up at the sky. He closed his eyes and needed to pray. He didn't know if God would hear him or not but he just needed to talk to someone and at the moment God seemed like the only person who would listen.

"Look, I just need one thing to go right. Just one thing, tonight. Please. I know that after all the things I've done," Sam opened his eyes and hated how memories of him trusting Ruby and drinking demon blood floated to the surface of his mind, "I don't really deserve your help, but my niece does. She just needs Dean to change his mind. Please, is that too much to ask. Help influence Dean or do something o get him to change his mind. I can handle getting Adam back," he stated thinking to himself that he really had no earthly idea how the hell he was going to do that. He just thought that he would give God the easy job; although dealing with Dean was never easy.

"I know that Adora was not meant to be here, but she is. And Dean loves her. I love her. I just want to make sure that she isn't an orphan by her second birthday. I just want Adora to have everything we didn't growing up," Sam sighed and raked a hand through his hair, "So if you are listening, please get Dean to change his mind. He won't listen to me right now but maybe he would listen to that little voice inside of him. You know that voice that everyone says is you," Sam closed his eyes, "Or maybe that's just me who thinks that. And we both know that I am not exactly the picture of sanity."

Sam shook his head and walked back into the house. He walked in the kitchen and shut the door behind him. He felt a little better at having prayed but the truth was he wasn't going to feel completely all right until he had Dean and Adam back. He watched as Bobby wheeled himself into the kitchen.

"Any luck finding Dean or Adam?" Sam asked him.

Bobby gave Sam a look. "No, ijit, I didn't have any luck finding Dean and Adam considering that I couldn't even leave the house," Bobby stated.

Sam sighed. "I mean, did they call?"

"Yeah, sure. Cause they are going to run away then call us back to tell us where they are."

Sam opened his mouth but then closed it. He knew that Bobby wasn't really angry at him, he was just angry with being stuck in the wheelchair and not being able to help the two boys he had helped raise. Sam was relieved when he heard Castiel fly into the living room. He walked into the room and heard Bobby following him. He took a step back when he saw Castiel holding Dean up.

"What happened to him?" Sam asked.

"I did," Castiel answered.

"Well, Katerina would have been proud of you, Cas," Bobby answered. He saw the look that Sam gave him, "What? You can't tell me that she wouldn't have kicked Dean's ass for pulling this stunt. Hell, I'm surprised that you haven't taken a swing at him."

Sam turned back to the angel and nodded towards the basement door, "Put Dean in the panic room. And this time, cuff him to the bed."

Sam saw the angel nod. Sam watched as Castiel carried Dean to the basement door. Sam turned and walked back to the kitchen. He needed a strong drink before he dealt with his brother.


	12. Chapter 11

Dean opened his eyes and groaned as he realized he was back in the panic room. He looked at his wrist and saw that he was handcuffed to the bunk. He sighed and sat up. He knew that he should have expected that. Hell, there was no way that Sam was going to let him go off and do something stupid. His brother was too hell bent on keeping the Winchester family together. Dean didn't have the heart to tell Sam that there really was no Winchester family. Not since Kat had left.

Dean looked across the panic room and saw Sam sitting there. His little brother had a sad look on his face. Dean looked away and sighed. "You know, I really don't want to hear any sad speech you had worked up in that head of yours. I get it. I disappointed you. Nothing new about that," Dean said.

Dean watched as Sam just gave him puppy eyes and shook his head. Sam then got up and walked over to Dean. Dean really expected Sam to hit him. It wouldn't be the first time that they had come to blows. Instead Sam pulled out the keys and undid the handcuffs. Dean watched Sam shocked and then pulled his arm back when it was free. He watched as Sam walked over to the desk and sat on it.

"So, I'm free now?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded, "Adam's gone. We need help to go get him."

Dean stopped and looked at Sam confused. "And you want me to help you? You do know that the very first thing that I am going to do is say yes, right?"

"It's a chance I am going to have to take."

Dean looked at Sam confused. He shook his head. "I can't believe Bobby and Cas would let you do this."

"Oh, they think this is probably the worst idea I have ever come up with but..." Sam shrugged. "I am just tired, Dean. I am tired of fighting with you. You want to say yes, you think that that will solve everything, then fine. I just want you to know that no matter what you decide, I still trust you and believe in you. I know that you will do the right thing. You always do in the end."

Dean watched as Sam got up and left the panic room. He left the door open. Dean sat there completely shocked. He then suddenly remembered Sam as a little boy. He remembered Sam's messy brown hair and his large puppy dog eyes as he asked Dean if there really were monsters out there. Dean remembered his answer: _Yeah, Sammy there is. But it's okay. You have me and I'll always protect you. You can trust that and you can always trust me_. Apparently that little boy has grown up to become a man that had more faith and trust in his big brother then his big brother had in himself.

* * *

Kat lifted her head and moaned. She could hear pounding from somewhere. She knew that her head was pounding but she was pretty sure that wasn't the loud pounding sound that was echoing in the cabin. She pushed herself up from the couch and reminded herself not to ever get drunk with an angel of the Lord. They could hold their liquor better than any human Kat had ever met. She walked over to the door and opened it. She frowned for a moment when she saw who was standing on the other side.

"Dean?" she muttered wincing and squinting. For the moment she had no idea where she was. Hell, she wasn't even sure she remembered who she was.

"Really, Kitty Kat?" he stepped forward close to her then stepped back and made a face, "You smell like a frat house."

Kat frowned and then remembered where she was, who she was and who was standing across from her. "Since when do you know what a frat house smells like?" she muttered turning and walking away from the door.

"Well, there's that cheery attitude that I know and love," Kat swore when Jensen slammed the door behind him as he walked into the cabin, "Do you know how long it took for me to figure out where you could be?"

"Not long enough apparently," she said walking into the kitchen. She really hoped that she had some form of liquor left. She knew that she would need it with Jensen there.

She heard Jensen kick a pile of beer bottles over. "Okay, so I wasn't going to ask but I have to know. What the hell did you do last night?"

Kat opened the fridge and thanked Gabe for leaving behind some beer. She grabbed one and popped the lid off and took a quick sip. "I had a party with an arch angel. FYI, do not try to out drink them. You'll be sorry."

She saw the blank look that Jensen gave her. She took another sip of the beer. A silence fell over them. Kat hated it but it wasn't because it was an uncomfortable silence; she hated it because it reminded her of everything he had been to her. It reminded her of how much she had cared about him and how easy things had been before she had found out she was a witch. It also reminded her in a twisted way of everything she had left behind with Dean. She cursed and drank some of the beer needing her mind to be clear and empty again.

"Kat-," Jensen started.

"Nope. Just nope with a large bolded capital N. I am not drunk enough or sober enough to do this," she said. She hated that tears came to her eyes. "I left to keep you and Jared safe. CJ got hurt because of me. I can't have that happen again. End of discussion so how about you turn around and march your pretty little ass out of here before some other ungodly creature walks through that door and tries to kill me."

She watched Jensen. He stood there and crossed his arms on his chest. "No."

Kat shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I am sorry but no is not an acceptable answer here. This is my fight, Jensen, not yours."

"Why the hell is this your fight? It's Dean's fight! You have lost enough, Kitty Kat, maybe it's time to just cut your losses here and-."

"And what? Live happily ever after with you?" Kat shook her head and slammed the empty bottle of beer down on the counter and let more tears fall. "Don't you think I want to do that more than anything? Don't you think that every damn morning I don't wake up wanting to give up the fight? Cause I do Jensen, god I do. But I can't. I have a little girl back there who is counting on me and her Dad to fix this whole thing. It is my fight, Jensen because it's Dean's fight. I love that man more than I ever thought humanly possible and I need to do whatever I can to fix this. I need to help him because... I love him," Kat explained.

Jensen shook his head. Kat hated how she saw tears in his eyes. She walked over to him and hugged him. She smiled when she felt how tight he crushed her to him. "Let me stay, Kat," he whispered to her, "Just let me stay and help you. I hate the thought of you being up here all alone."

Kat shook her head and pulled away. "You have a show to film," she answered.

"It's wrapped for the season."

Kat looked at him. She wanted so badly to ask him how it ends but on the other hand she didn't want to know either. "It isn't good, is it?"

Jensen shook his head, "You might want more alcohol before I tell you."

Kat cursed. She then turned and began digging around. She couldn't find the keys to her car. She turned and saw Jensen holding out the keys to his truck. "Well, then, how about we go and stock up before you tell me the depressing news."

"Or how about you go and take a shower while I stock up? I mean no offence Kat but..." He wrinkled his nose, "I have been in gas station washrooms that smell better then you do."

Kat looked down at her wrinkled clothes then looked back up at Jensen. "Yeah, well... You're ugly."

She turned and walked away. Jensen's laughter echoed in the cabin. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it and took a slow deep breath. She knew that she should be sending Jensen away but she couldn't. She was tired of being alone. Plus she knew that he could help her figure out what could possibly happen to the Winchesters. Although part of her still hoped that she could stop whatever horrible ending was coming.

* * *

Dean sat on the motel room bed. He held his face in his hands. They had lost Adam to the angels. Plus they didn't know where the hell Cas had zapped himself to. Dean let the tears roll down his cheeks. _DEAN!_ That had been Adam's last word to him. He kept hearing it in his head over and over. He looked up when he heard the door to the room open and slam shut. Sam had suggested stopping for the night and Dean had a feeling that he had suggested it knowing that Dean was just mentally and physically exhausted.

"I got dinner," Sam said holding up a takeout bag.

Dean tried to smile. "Thanks Sammy."

He wiped the tears from his face and got up and walked over to the couch. He sat on it and smiled when Sam handed him a large fries and a burger. Dean watched as his little brother walked over to the cooler by the door and opened it. He grabbed two beers. Dean began eating his fries and accepted the beer that Sam handed him moments later.

"We'll get Adam back," Sam told him sitting beside him on the couch and turning on the television.

Dean stopped unwrapping his burger. "You think so?"

Dean watched his brother nod. "I have to. We lost enough family, Dean. We can't lose Adam too. I just... I wish Kat was here. She'd probably have already figured out a way to get him back."

Dean snorted, "That or done some spell in order to connect herself to him so that he couldn't say yes either."

Dean turned and looked at Sam and saw that his brother was nodding his head, "Yeah, you might actually have a point."

Dean shook his head. He looked at his burger and suddenly wasn't hungry. He placed it on the coffee table in front of him and sat back on the couch and sipped his beer. He looked at the television wanting an answer to pop out at him.

"What are we going to do now?" he asked.

Sam stopped eating his salad and turned to look at Dean. "I don't know."

Silence fell over the two brothers. Dean sipped his beer. He suddenly missed his little girl. He wanted her there with him. He knew it was only because with Addie there she would provide a much needed distraction. She would be able to make him laugh and smile and forget all about the horrible end that seemed to be barreling towards them. Instead of with him though Adora was tucked away safe with Lisa where Dean knew that she would be loved and taken care of. Dean closed his eyes and thought about his little girl's smile.

 _I'll make this okay, Addie. I'll get Uncle Adam back and your mom and we'll all be one happy family. There has to be a way I can give you that. There just has to be._


	13. Chapter 12

Kat sat outside the cabin and looked out at the sky as dawn came. She couldn't stop thinking about what Jensen had told her two weeks before. She closed her eyes and thought about how Sam would say yes to Lucifer. It just didn't make sense to her. She told herself over and over that the show and what really happened over in Supernatural world were the same but right then she didn't believe that that was how things would end. Sam couldn't say yes to Lucifer. Well, he could but Kat would have to say yes as well and there was no way in hell that she was ever going to do that. Of course, there was always the thought that she wouldn't have to say yes or no if she was dead.

"I can hear you thinking from inside. You need to stop," she heard Jensen say from the doorway to the cabin.

She turned and looked at him. She still wasn't sure why she had let him stay with her. She told herself it was because she was lonely and wanted to have someone with her. Deep down, though she thought that maybe it was because she really wanted Dean with her but she couldn't have that so she had settled for Jensen. It was sick and twisted to think that but she knew that it was probably closer to the truth then she wanted to admit. "I can't stop. I need to think of a way to stop all of this," she answered turning back and looking at the sky.

"You aren't going to think of anything if you keep worrying about it. You'll just mess up your mind and keep focusing on the wrong thing," Jensen told her as he walked over to her and sat beside her.

Kat turned and looked at him again. "You're probably right. It's just... They'll running out of time over there. I can feel it. Something needs to happen to stop all of this."

"Yeah, well, they're Sam and Dean Winchester. They have been dealing with shit like this their whole lives, Kitty Kat. I am sure that they will come up with a plan all on their own."

Kat turned and looked back at the sky. "Yeah, that's what I am scared of."

* * *

Dean stood beside Sam and looked at Gabriel. The angel has just told them that Kat had been having a hard time being away from them but that she was doing all right now. Dean couldn't stop himself. He reached out and grabbed the angel's collar and lifted the angel off his feet. Gabriel looked into his eyes and for a moment Dean swore he saw fear there.

"How bad is she?" Dean demanded.

Gabriel looked at him. "Dean, you know how bad she is. You can feel her."

Dean shook his head, "No, I can't."

Gabriel pressed a hand to Dean's chest. "Yes, you can."

Dean let Gabriel go as he was suddenly overcome with emotions. He thought they were his at first but then he knew better. He was feeling Kat. He felt her hurt and despair. He fell to a knee as it overpowered him. _Why did I leave him? I can't do this. I can't just sit here. Oh god, Addie._ He heard her thoughts echo in his head. He then felt the guilt. Oh god, Kat's guilt was worse than his own. She hated herself for cutting herself off from him and Sam. She hated herself for ever leaving him. God, she thought that he would never forgive her and that he had stopped loving her.

"What the hell did you do to him?!" he heard Sam demand.

"I made the one way channel a two way," Gabriel answered. "Katerina could always feel you, Dean. It's not as strong since she left here but sometimes she can still sense you like you were right beside her. What you are feeling is what Kat puts up with sometimes on a daily basis. Now you know why she was falling apart."

Dean pushed himself up and stood again. He was grateful when Sam grabbed his arm and helped him stay standing. "Send me to her," he stated.

"Sorry, Dean but I can't. We're in a hotel full of gods who cannot time travel. I need to keep a low profile here. I send you back there and they will know right away that I am an angel."

"I don't care. I need to talk to my Kitten."

Gabriel smiled, "Glad you still see her that way. Bathroom is thru that door. There is a nice large mirror you can use. I guarantee that this time Deano, Katerina will answer you. She needs to speak to you too."

Dean looked at the door to the washroom that lay behind Gabriel. He turned and looked at Sam. Sam nodded, "Go, I'll be all right," he said.

Dean nodded. He began to walk towards the bathroom. He felt the scar on his chest tingling already. He needed to talk to his Kitten.

* * *

Kat shut the bathroom door and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the door. She had just called Jensen 'Dean'. They had been moving around each other in the small kitchen of the cabin and for one small moment she had forgotten where she was and who she was with. She had looked at him at of the corner of her eye and called him Dean. Tears fell down her cheeks.

"Kitty Kat? It's all right. Really," she heard him say as he knocked softly on the door.

"No, it isn't. Jensen, I want him and you," she wiped her tears away, "You aren't him."

"Kat-."

"Don't. I need a few minutes. Please?"

She heard Jensen walk away from the door. She sighed and ran her hands over her face. She walked over to the sink and turned on the cold water. _Kitten, I know you can hear me_. Dean's voice echoed around her and she slammed her knees against the sink in shock. She looked up at the mirror and watched as it started to swirl. She looked down at her chest. She saw the blood soaking through her shirt. She knew that she should just turn around and leave the bathroom. She couldn't handle talking with Dean right now. Deep down, she knew that she needed to talk to him. She wanted him with her so bad that she had called Jensen by his name. She needed him. She reached out and touched the glass.

"Dean," she said closing her eyes and letting more tears fall.

"Kitten," his voice echoed around her, "Why didn't you tell me how bad you were hurting?"

Kat opened her eyes and looked at Dean in the mirror. He looked like hell. He had bags under his eyes telling her that he hadn't slept in days. She could also see the pain in his eyes. She knew that she had put that pain there. She hadn't trusted him enough to talk to him about her plan. Instead she had just left him behind.

"Hey, stop that," he said telling her that he could in fact hear her thoughts and feel what she was feeling, "You did what you had to do."

"Did I? I haven't changed anything. I mean, the angels got Adam, so it's only a matter of time before I have an entire garrison of them knocking on my door to kill me so that they can get Sam to say yes."

"Katerina, listen to me. Sam is not going to say yes. We are going to fight this with everything we have. You are going to come home to this world. I won't let it end. You understand?"

* * *

Dean looked at Kat. He could tell she had lost weight and that she probably also hadn't been sleeping well. Most of all though, he could see the pain in her eyes. Her eyes were puffy and red from tears and Dean ached to be able to take her in his arms. He wanted to hold her and love her and make her world all right again. He wanted to go back and time and never fall in love with her. He wanted her to have happiness with Jensen and live in a world where there was no pain and no hurt that he had caused.

"I think this is where I tell you it isn't your fault either," Kat whispered to him.

He smiled knowing that she had felt everything that he was feeling. "I love you, Kitten. You know that right?" he told her softly.

He saw her nod. "I know Dean. Sometimes, in the middle of the night though, I wonder how you still could. The world is falling apart around you and I was part of that. I was the idiot who let the devil out and then left you to clean up the mess."

"Hey, letting Lucifer out was a group effort, Katerina. It wasn't only you. Take a deep breath and let go of that guilt for me."

He saw her shake her head, "I can't. If I let go of it... I'll lose my purpose for being here to begin with."

"Kat, tell me you aren't alone there."

"I have Jensen with me right now. I'm... I'm going to send him on his way though. He..." Dean watched as Kat let more tears fall, "He reminds me too much of you. And I just miss you so damn much."

Dean hated how Kat dissolved in tears and sobs right in front of him. He knew that she was trying her damnest to stay strong but suddenly it was all too much for her. He ached to be there with her but he knew that Gabriel was right. He couldn't just zap there to be with her. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Kitten, look at me," he said his voice soft.

He watched as she looked up at him her grey eyes filled with tears and unfiltered pain. He felt tears come to his eyes. "I know I can't be there but Jensen is. Let him comfort you and be there for you."

"I can't."

"Kat, for me. Please. I can't," he bit his lip and shook his head, "Seeing you like this is killing me. I need you to be okay. I need you to be strong because I," he let a sob out, "if I lose you in this, then what the fuck is the point of trying to save the world? You're the only reason I am still fighting. I need you back here so I am going to try my damnest to save the world. If you just give up, then why should I fight?"

Dean watched as Kat looked him in the eye. He watched as her tears slowly stopped. She wiped them off her cheeks and he ached to be able to do that for her. He watched as she tilted her head and gave him a slow smile. "I fucking love you, Dean," she told him softly.

He smiled. "I know. I love you too. Keep it together. For me, okay?"

He watched as she nodded. "I'll try. Dean," she whispered leaning closer to the mirror. He watched as she kissed it. He leaned closer and did the same not caring how stupid he might look. "Stay alive," she finished pulling away from the mirror.

"You too," he whispered. He saw her small smile then she was gone. He lowered his hand and slammed a fist on the sink. He winced as pain exploded in his hand but he didn't care. All he wanted was to be where Kat was.

* * *

Kat opened the door to the washroom. She walked out slowly. She turned and saw Jensen leaning against the far wall watching her. She looked at him and felt more tears form in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly.

"Kat, shut up," he told her walking over to her.

She sobbed when his arms came around her and he pulled her body close to his. She sobbed in his shoulder squeezing her eyes shut. She fell to her knees pulling Jensen with her. He still held her close as they sat on the floor. She held on tight to him wishing that it had been Dean who was holding her instead.


	14. Chapter 13

Dean pulled over on the side of the road and cursed. He turned and looked at Sam. Sam was wearing the same look on his face. Dean turned and went to ask Kali if she thought Gabriel had survived the fight with Lucifer but he found the backseat empty. The goddess was gone. He slammed his hands on the steering wheel and cursed even louder.

"Well, that went fucking well, didn't it?" Dean demanded shoving his door open and climbing out of the car.

He looked over the roof of the impala at Sam. "Well, it could have gone worse. We could have died too."

Dean smirked. "Thanks, Sam I knew I could trust you to always look on the brighter side of things."

He watched Sam smile as his brother walked around the back of the impala and joined him on the driver's side of the car. Dean looked at Sam and sighed. He had no idea what to do now. They were without a plan with Lucifer running lose. It didn't seem like it was going to end well for them.

"So, what now?" Sam asked looking at Dean.

Dean shrugged. He then got a thoughtful look on his face and he opened his jacket and pulled out the DVD that Gabriel had given him. "Well, we have this," he said.

He watched as Sam looked at the DVD and frowned. "You want to watch porn now?" he asked.

Dean shook his head, "No, Gabriel gave it to me. He said to protect it with my life," Dean looked at it then looked back at Sam. "It can't be that good, could it?"

He saw Sam roll his eyes before the younger Winchester opened the back door and leaned in to get his laptop. Sam closed the door once he had his laptop and set the computer on the roof of the impala. He opened it and then grabbed the DVD from Dean. Dean watched as Sam placed the DVD into the CD ROM burner and closed it. After a couple of moments the opening scene to Casa Erotic began to play on the screen.

"Man, I really hope we don't see anything that will scar us for life," Dean muttered.

"I grew up with you as a big brother, Dean, I am pretty sure that that ship has already sailed," Sam muttered as Gabriel came on the screen.

Dean looked at Sam but didn't say anything. He watched the screen as Gabriel pulled off his fake mustache. "If you are watching this, then I guess I bought it and I am up in the big porno in the sky," the arch angel said. Dean raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, "And even though you two are probably thinking about going after Lucifer on your own, don't. You two will just end up dead, again. The only way to stop Lucifer is to put him back in his cage."

"Well, that's just great. How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Dean demanded.

"If you wouldn't interrupt me, then I would tell you," Gabriel said on the screen.

Sam and Dean shared a look before they turned their attention back to the screen. "The rings of the Four Horsemen connect together and with an incantation open up the cage. All you have to do is give my older brother a shove and once he's back in the cage everything goes back to normal."

Dean looked at Sam and watched as the hope filled his brother's face again. He turned back to the screen and watched as Gabriel caught the woman in the film and yanked her clothes off. The woman went to rip his clothes off and thankfully Sam slammed down the screen. Sam looked at Dean.

"Well, we already have War and Famine's rings all we need is Pestilence and Death's rings," Dean said.

Sam looked at him. "Really? Is that all?" he asked with a sarcastic tone.

Dean sighed, "I know it isn't going to be pleasant but now we have a plan for how to get Lucifer back in the cage. I am going for it."

Sam nodded. He then smirked. "Kat would kill us."

Dean nodded. "True. There is a bright side though. We may not live through this so she may not get the chance to kill us."

Sam made a face, "That is true."

* * *

Kat opened her eyes and closed them just as fast. She felt Jensen's bare chest against her cheek and the feel of his body pressed against hers. She took a slow steady breath and squeezed her eyes tight to stop the tears.

 _This isn't what Dean meant when he said to let Jensen comfort you_ , she thought to herself as the memories of the night before came back to her.

She remembered sobbing in Jensen's arms on the floor for what seemed like an eternity before he finally stood back up and swung her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He had sat on the bed with her and stroked her hair and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She remembered looking into his green eyes and just aching for Dean instead and that had been when Jensen had kissed her. And God help her she had kissed him back. She had ripped his clothes off just as he had pulled hers off. She opened her eyes when she felt his hand gently move down her back. His hands were so much softer then Dean's calloused ones and yet all she wanted was to feel those rough hands on her body again.

"Kitty Kat, don't," Jensen whispered as Kat let a tear roll down her cheek and onto his chest.

Kat rolled away from him and tossed the covers aside. She pulled away when she felt his hand on her arm. She stood and grabbed a shirt from the floor and pulled it on. More tears came to her eyes as she realized it was Jensen's shirt, another one that he had stolen from set and never returned. She did up the buttons quickly then turned to look at the man in her bed. He was looking at her begging her with his green eyes to just climb back into that bed and let him love her forever. She raked her hand through her hair. She shook her head and let out a small laugh. This had to be some sort of twisted irony in this. She had once loved Jensen more than anything and would have done anything to have him in her bed. And now that he was all she wanted to do was run in the opposite direction.

"My life sucks," she said closing her eyes and letting more tears fall.

"It doesn't have too, you know," Jensen told her softly.

Kat smiled and shook her head opening her eyes to look at the man she still thought of as her best friend. "What about Roxie's life? Doesn't she deserve to be happy with you?"

Jensen shook his head. "She quit and left at the end of the season. She wanted way more then I was ready to give her. She had this crazy notion that she was in love with me and she wanted to get married right away and have kids. I'm not ready for that," he said climbing out of bed and grabbing his jeans.

Kat watched as he pulled them on and stood. He left them undone and Kat forced herself to look back into his eyes when he turned to face her. "You were ready for all that. You told me so about a couple of years ago. You wanted to think about settling down," she answered.

"I did want it. But not with some girl I had just met and just started dating. Roxie took offence to that. She claimed she knew I was her true love and that was all there was. We were 'connected'."

Kat looked at him. "Okay, that sounds kind of creepy now."

She watched as Jensen smiled. "Yeah, well let's just say Jared and CJ are totally Team Kat now. I also think CJ might even be Team Let's Get Roxie Some Therapy."

Kat shook her head and had to laugh. She heard Jensen walk over to her. He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him despite knowing that it wasn't a good idea. "I didn't know that there was a Team Kat."

"Oh, there is definitely a Team Kat. I'm the Captain of the team," Jensen answered leaning in and kissing her on the neck.

Kat closed her eyes. "You know, there's also a Team Dean too. And I am Captain of that team," she whispered pulling away.

Jensen sighed and rested his forehead against Kat's. "Why are you making this so hard, Kitty Kat? Why can't you just let go and be here with me."

"Jensen, you-" Kat started.

"Katerina, we seriously need to talk," she heard Gabriel say. She pulled away from Jensen and saw the arch angel standing in the doorway to the bedroom. "Oh, sorry are you busy?" he asked smirking.

 _I'm going to kill him,_ was her only thought.

* * *

Dean walked down the front steps of Bobby's. He sat on one of the middle ones and pulled out his phone. He began rolling down the contacts. He stopped at Kat's name. God, he wanted to phone her and see how she was doing. Unfortunately he had already tried that and apparently, inter-dimension calling doesn't work. Instead he moved down his contracts some more and found Lisa's name. He pressed the button and put the call through. He held the phone to his ear and waited.

"Hello," he heard Lisa ask answering the phone.

"Hey, Lisa, it's Dean," he managed to say. He felt tears come to his eyes when he could hear Adora in the background laughing.

"Dean, it's good to hear your voice. Is everything all right with you? Did you fix what you had to?"

Dean felt the tears roll down his cheeks. He knew that Lisa, Ben and especially Adora were relying on him to fix this whole mess and put Lucifer back in his cage. They needed him to make the world a safe place again for them. He didn't want to fail his daughter. He had failed enough people in the world he didn't want to add Addie to that list.

"Not yet, I am still working on it. How's Addie doing?" he asked wishing more than anything that he could have his daughter with him but he knew how danger it was for her.

"She's doing better. It took some adjusting for Ben and her but they are really close now, Dean. I really think Ben loves her like she was his little sister," Lisa told him.

 _She could be his little sister if I were to just give up this fight and go back to you_ , Dean thought, _but I can't. I made a promise to the love of my life I would keep fighting if she does. Kitten needs me to keep going._

"I'm glad that she and Ben are getting along. She needs someone to love her. I just," Dean sighed and closed his eyes as more tears fell, "I hate being away from her."

"I know you do, Dean but you are doing what is best for her. You life is too dangerous for a child Addie's age. She needs to be kept safe."

Dean smiled a little. "I know but her mother is going to kill me when she finds out who has been looking after her."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. "You never talk about her mother. Adora has said that she was pretty and that you loved her."

Dean sighed, "I did and I do. Her name is Katerina. And she is," so many words went through Dean's head to describe his Kitten. He only needed on though, "my everything."

"I'm glad you found someone, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Thanks. Listen I have to go," he said hearing the door behind him open and close, "You tell Addie that I love her."

"You could tell her yourself, Dean. I could-."

"No, Lisa I just," he shook his head like she could see him, "I might lose it. Talk to you later."

Dean hung up and stood. He turned around and saw Sam standing behind him. "Bobby found something we might be able to use," he said looking at Dean.

"All right, let's get on it," Dean said ignoring the look on Sam's face as he walked back up the steps and into the house. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to his brother about how much it was killing him not having Kat or Adora with him. He just needed to keep his head focused on getting Lucifer back in the cage. That was all he could handle at the moment.


	15. Chapter 14

Kat walked into the living room in a pair of dark wash jeans and still wearing Jensen's shirt. She saw Gabriel looking out the front window a sad look on his face. She crossed her arms on her chest and glared at him.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded.

"I made a choice and it was apparently the wrong one," he answered walking over to her.

She looked at him confused. "What choice did you make, Gabriel?"

"Did you just say Gabriel?' she heard Jensen ask. She turned and saw him standing behind her. She turned back and looked at the arch angel.

"Sorry, boy toy but this conversation," Gabriel said standing in place. Kat blinked and he was gone. She turned and saw him standing in front of Jensen, "is not for your ears." The angel touched his forehead and Jensen crumpled to the floor fast asleep.

Kat watched as Gabriel turned towards her again. "What was the choice?" she asked again.

Gabriel looked at her regret filling his eyes. "I let Lucifer kill my vessel there."

Kat stood there hoping that the angel was joking. Instead he held her glaze completely serious. Kat turned around and felt her body start to shake. She closed her eyes to stop from seeing the walls closing in on her. It didn't help and she began to choke. She fell to the floor and felt arms come around her.

"Katerina, stop," Gabriel ordered pressing his fingers to her forehead.

Kat felt peace come over her. She looked up and met Gabriel's eyes. She yanked her arms away from him and began hitting him. She shoved him away and stood. She watched as he got to his feet. She punched him not caring as pain exploded in her hand after. He just looked at her.

"I guess I deserve that," he said.

"You guess?!" Kat shook her head and took several long deep breaths. She looked at Gabriel and felt the tears form in her eyes. "You were suppose to stay there and keep them safe. You were the one who could help them because I was here. What the hell were you thinking letting Lucifer kill your vessel there?" she demanded.

"I was doing exactly what I told you I would. I was helping Sam and Dean. A bunch of gods had gotten together and the Winchesters just happened to walk right into their meeting."

Kat closed her eyes, "Why am I not surprised. Fucking Winchester luck."

"Or lack of it. One of the gods called Lucifer over offering Sam and Dean to him. I took a stand to give them time to get them out of there. It wasn't an ideal plan but it was all I had at the moment."

Kat walked over to the couch and sat on it. She ran her hands over her face. She looked up at Gabriel. "And you are sure that they are safe? Sam and Dean made it out of there and Lucifer didn't get a hold of them?" she demanded.

"The Winchesters are safe at Bobby's. I checked before I came here to tell you. And hopefully they will stay that way."

Kat raised an eyebrow. "You aren't telling me something."

She watched as Gabriel leaned against the wall. "I told Sam and Dean the family fail safe for keeping Lucy locked in his cage. The Four Horsemen's rings. They can reopen the cage and then all you have to do is stuff Lucifer back in."

Kat leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. She closed her eyes and knew what she had to do. The fight was happening away from her and she needed to be a part of it. She opened her eyes and wiped away the dried tears on her cheeks. She stood in front of Gabriel and smile at him. "I'm going back."

Gabriel looked at her his face frozen in a look that was a mixture of surprise, confusion and worry. "What?" he asked.

Kat crossed her arms on her chest. "I am going to go back. Me being here isn't helping anymore. Sam and Dean are going to go after those rings and it would help to have a witch on board, don't you think?"

She watched as Gabriel opened his mouth no doubt to talk her out of it. Instead he shut his mouth again and nodded. "Fine, I'll send you back. But before you go there are a couple of things you are going to need to make sure that demons and angels can't find you."

Kat nodded. "All right. There is something I also want from you."

Gabriel walked over to her and placed his hand on her chest. She yelled as a burning searing pain exploded across her rib cage. "Sigil so angels can't find you. Not even me. Now where do you want the demon warding?"

Kat undid a couple of buttons of the shirt and shrugged it off her shoulder. She turned and winced and cursed as the same burning pain spread on her shoulder. "I want you to wipe everyone's memory here," she said through clenched teeth.

She turned around when she heard Gabriel step away from her. She pulled the shirt up and did up the buttons looking away from the arch angel's eyes. "Are you sure you want that? Once I wipe their memories, it's not going to come back. They won't remember you. Ever. If you come back here-."

"I'm not going to come back again. For better or worse, however this fight with Lucifer and Michael turns out, I am staying over there," she said looking up. She glanced over and Jensen. "Them not remembering me is for the best. You can't miss something you don't remember, right?"

Gabriel nodded. He snapped his fingers and a canvas duffel bag appeared. He handed it to her. "I'll wipe their memories when you are back there and safe. In here are some things you might need."

Kat took the bag and opened it. She smiled when she saw angels' blades. "Thanks, I am sure these will come in handy."

"All right, you ready?"

Kat nodded. She stepped forward and smiled at Gabriel. "Thanks for all this, Gabe."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't get yourself killed."

Kat nodded. She closed her eyes and let one last tear fall. _Goodbye Jensen and Jared. I loved you two so much and for so long. You guys were my family. But now, Sam and Dean need me. They are my family._ She felt Gabriel touch her forehead with two fingers. There was a flash of light. She opened her eyes and smiled. She was standing on the side of the highway by Bobby's. She looked at the house. "Home," was all she could say.

* * *

Sam stood in the living room and began to do his stretches. He could sense Bobby's eyes on him but it didn't bother him. Sam always stretched before a run and after sitting in a chair all night doing research on Pestilence and Death, he knew that a nice long run outside in the fresh air would help wake up his brain.

"Your brother still passed out upstairs?" Bobby asked Sam wheeling his wheelchair over to the bookshelf and sitting there picking out book after book.

"Yeah, he was when I checked on him," Sam said bracing himself against the wall with one hand and pulling up his leg bended at the knee. He thought about Dean and how when he had checked on him, the older Winchester had had a near empty bottle of Jack on the nightstand beside him, a book open on the bed but the thing that had made Sam's heart ache was that Dean had been clutching a picture in his hand. When Sam had stepped forward and looked more closely at the picture, he had seen that it was a picture of Dean, Kat and Addie when Adora had just been born. Those were happier days no doubt and Sam couldn't blame Dean for wanted to think about those days instead of what was happening right then.

Sam turned and let go of his leg. He saw Bobby watching him. "He is drinking too much again, isn't he?" Bobby asked his eyes never leaving Sam's.

Sam stopped stretching and let his arms drop to his sides. "I don't think he ever stopped drinking, Bobby. Coming back from Hell and having to carry all the memories of that place started it and now," Sam sighed and shrugged, "You know what's happened since."

Bobby nodded. "Losing Kat really sent him over the edge, didn't it?"

Sam tucked his hair behind his ear and nodded. "Yeah and then deciding to leave Addie with Lisa. Dean wants to fight for them but it's harder to get him to think that we can win when the two people he loves most aren't here with him."

Bobby opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a knock on the door. He looked at Sam and Sam nodded. He walked over to the couch and grabbed his gun. He walked over to the door slowly and tried to peer out the window. He saw a small shape and decided it was probably a woman. He turned when he heard Bobby wheel up behind him with his shotgun. Sam nodded and walked over and grabbed the doorknob. He yanked open the door and then pointed his gun at the figure standing on the other side.

"Well, I realize I pissed you off leaving but this really wasn't the homecoming I was expecting," Kat said from the other side of the door a duffel swung over her shoulder and a half smile on her face.

Sam stood there his gun still aimed at Kat. He didn't think what he was seeing was real. Kat was standing there in a plaid flannel that Sam was sure looked like one of Dean's that hung down to her knees and a pair of dark wash jeans with the right knee ripped. Her hair was messy and longer then he remembered and her grey eyes were looking at him with love and compassion in them. He heard Bobby lower his shot gun.

"Sam, it's her," Bobby said softly.

Sam watched as Kat held up her hands and stepped over the threshold of the door. He looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Sammy, it's me, Kat. You could put the gun down now. Or you could shoot me to make sure I am real but I am pretty sure that neither of us will enjoy that very much."

Sam's hands began to shake and he slowly lowered the gun. As he did Kat lowered her arms. He saw the tears in her eyes and he gave her a smile. "God, I have missed you," he said stepping forward and yanking her into a tight hug with one arm.

He heard her laugh. "You sure got a funny way of showing it," he felt her punch him in the arm gently. "Holding a gun on me and making me stand there thinking you were going to shoot me," she pulled away and Sam got a close look at her. He saw the bags under her eyes. "Not cool, Sam."

"I just can't believe that you're back."

He let Kat go and watched as she went and hugged Bobby. "Yeah, well I figured the Winchesters needed my help," she kissed Bobby on the cheek then stood back and looked at them both. "Where's Dean and Addie?" she asked.

Sam crossed his arms on his chest and looked away. "Dean's upstairs passed out from spending half the night drinking and Adora she's..." he trailed off. He looked up and saw Kat watching him. "Dean left her with Lisa. He didn't want her to get hurt, Kat you have to-."

"Sam, stop," she said softly. He saw the tears form in her eyes. "Which room is Dean in?"

"He stays in your old one," Bobby answered.

Kat nodded. "Okay. Here, Bobby, here are some toys I brought with me. I think it would be a good idea to make sure that everyone has one and then hide the rest," she said handing him the duffel.

"All right, I'll do that. Katerina, I am glad you came back," Bobby told her taking her hand.

"Yeah, let's see if Dean feels the same way."

Sam watched her walk towards the stair case and take the stairs two at a time. He then looked at Bobby who had opened the duffel. The older man pulled out an angel blade. Sam shook his head. "I'm going to head out for that run now."

"Aren't you curious how she got these?" Bobby asked him.

"It's Kat. I'm not really surprised at anything she does anymore," Sam answered walking out the open door and closing it behind him. He took a long deep breath and smiled. Kat was back which meant that everything would be getting back to normal again. It also meant that Dean would have something to fight for. Maybe everything would work out for the best after all.


	16. Chapter 15

**_For the heart I once had_**

 ** _I believe and foresee_**

 ** _Everything I could ever be_**

Dean felt someone stroking his cheek softly and humming to him gently. He rolled over away from the hand sure that he was still in a dream with Kat and he couldn't deal with that. He felt the hand again on his shoulder. He forced his eyes open and stared at the wall.

"Dammit Sam, let me sleep," he muttered pulling the covers around him more and burying his face in the pillow. It still smelled of Kat and it caused his heart to ache even more but it also brought back so many good memories of his Kitten.

"I'm not Sam and I kind of think you might want to be awake for this, baby," he heard Kat say.

Dean's eyes snapped open. He blinked and he told himself that he was losing his mind. He turned and looked over his shoulder. He saw Kat sitting on the side of the bed her hair hanging over her left shoulder. He sat up and just looked at her. He reached out and gently placed his hand on her cheek. He felt her soft skin and realized that she was real.

"Kitten?" he asked feeling tears come to his eyes.

"It's me, Dean. I am real. I am back and nothing is going to keep me away from you again," she told him.

Dean yanked Kat in his arms and held her tight. He felt her arms come around him and he buried his face in her neck. He kissed her neck and smelled her hair. He then pulled away and looked into her grey eyes. God, there was so much love there. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She kissed him back and he felt her hands stroking his neck. He pulled away and looked at her. He rested his forehead against hers.

"Kitten, I can't believe you are here. I didn't think you would come back to me," he said hating that tears rolled down his cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She also had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I know. Dean, I came back because I realized that you needed me here. I never should have left you in the first place."

Dean hated how much pain he still saw in Kat's eyes. He kissed her again and then pulled her in his arms. He laid back on the bed and just held her. "I'm sorry, Adora isn't here. I left her with Lisa because I thought she would be safer there. It was a stupid decision and-," he started.

Kat placed her finger on his mouth, "Shh, Dean don't. I understand why you did it and I agree with it. Maybe Addie is safer there with Lisa for now. I know you didn't do it because you love her any less."

Dean looked at her and blinked his tears away. "Kitten, what are we going to do?" he asked softly.

She looked at him and gave him a small smile. "We're going to kick it in the ass."

Dean watched as Kat rested her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair and closed his eyes again. He just held her tight and snuggled closer to her. His Kitten was back and he was hoping that everything would be all right now. He had told himself that having Kat back would change everything and now that she was there in his arms, he knew that he had to make sure that came true. He felt her stroking his chest and he rubbed her back. Touching her and holding her made the evil in the world just go away for a little while. Any happiness he could find now, he was going to hold onto.

* * *

Kat opened her eyes when she heard a soft knock on the door. She felt Dean tighten his hold on her but she pulled away enough to roll over. She smiled when she saw Sam stick his head in the room with his hand over his eyes.

"Are you two decent or am I going to be scarred even more?" he asked a large smile on his face.

"We're buck naked so get lost, Sammy," Dean said grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. Sam yanked his head out of the room before the pillow could hit him.

"Dean. Sam, we're decent," Kat said gently slapping Dean, "did something happen?" She asked as Sam stuck his head back in minus the hand over his eyes.

"Nothing happened. Bobby just wanted to know if you two were going to come down for dinner. He ordered pizza and Chinese," Sam said.

"Wait, Bobby ordered food?" Kat looked from Sam to Dean, "what did you two do to him?"

She watched as both Sam and Dean shrugged. She sighed and looked at Dean. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips. "I love you and want to stay in bed with you all damn day and night, but I am also hungry."

"So you're telling me that food wins over me?" Dean asked softly.

Kat looked at him and nodded. "Yeah. Sorry baby."

She watched as Dean sighed, "All right, I'll let you get away with it this time because I am also starving. But next time, I win."

Kat smiled and nodded. She climbed out of bed and heard Dean do the same. She walked over to the door and smiled at Sam. She wrapped an arm around Sam's waist and walked with him down the hall to the stairs. "So, how have you two been since I've been gone?" she asked softly.

She saw the look Sam gave her and then the glance he did looking back at Dean. "We have been better. How have you been?"

Flashes of the night before and having sex with Jensen entered her mind. She pulled away from Sam and quickly walked down the stairs. She raked her hand through her hair and wished that she could forget about those moments. She turned and walked into the kitchen and smiled at Bobby. She heard Sam and Dean enter the room behind her but she didn't acknowledge them. She walked over to Bobby and took the carton of Chinese food from him and opened it.

"Thanks for getting the food, Bobby," she said walking to get herself a fork.

"Welcome, it's the least I could do since you're back. So how were things over there?" Bobby asked.

"I just asked her that and she didn't answer me," Sam said.

Kat opened the carton and placed her fork in it. She leaned against the counter and looked into the carton at the noodles that were there. "It was the same."

"Wow, Kitten being away sure hasn't improved your lying skills," Dean said as he walked over to her. He took the carton away from her and forced her to look at him. "Talk to me."

Kat looked into his green eyes and flashed back to Jensen's eyes staring at her as she rode him. She cursed and dropped the fork she still held. She closed her eyes and hated when tears came to her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it. It doesn't matter now. They don't remember me over there anyway."

She opened her eyes and saw Sam, Dean and Bobby looking at her with concerned looks on their faces. She wiped away her tears. "Kitten, what happened?" Dean asked reaching out and wiping away her tears as well.

Kat sighed. "Gabriel let Lucifer kill his vessel here but he has another one over there. He came and told me the shitfest he had created and I decided it was time to come home," she bit her lip, "I told him to wipe everyone's memory of me back there. I'm never going to go back so I just thought it would be easier for everyone if they forgot all about me. Jared has a baby boy and a new wife, CJ, who he adores and Jensen," she hated how her voice trembled on his name. "He'll find someone. They don't need memories of me holding them back from happiness."

She looked at Dean and saw the pain in his eyes at the thought of her hurting. "You erased their memories but not yours," he whispered.

She shrugged. "I got tons of bad memories kicking around my head. What's a few more?" she answered.

She held Dean when he wrapped his arms around and pulled her closer to him. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She held him tight and told herself over and over that nothing good would come of her telling Dean what had happened between her and Jensen. She had needed comfort and had taken that from Jensen. She had used him because he was the closest thing she had to Dean. Now that she was back with Dean, anything that had happened in the other world was done and gone. Plus Jensen didn't even remember it, so that meant it didn't really count. Kat squeezed her eyes shut tighter and knew that she was just lying to herself. It would matter; it would matter a lot to Dean hence why she wasn't going to tell him.

"I'm sorry you thought you had to do that," Sam said as Kat pulled away from Dean and looked at him. He gave her a soft smile, "but I got to say that I am glad you are back."

Kat walked over to him and hugged him. "I had to come back. This is my home and you guys are my family and Addie," she said softly pulling away and looking at the three men around her, "she deserves to live in this world where Lucifer is not running around. She deserves somewhere safe and it's up to us to give that to her," she said.

She saw Bobby, Sam and Dean nod. She walked back over to Dean and picked up the carton of noodles again. She leaned against him and looked at the others. "All right so what crazy ass plan have you two come up with?"

"Oh, these two plan on going after the two last horsemen. Pestilence and Death," Bobby answered.

Kat looked at Sam and Dean. "All right Pestilence might be easy but Death," she eyed them. "Don't you have to, like I don't know, be dead to see him."

Sam smirked. "Usually but we've died so many times, he probably enjoys visiting with us."

Kat looked at him and pointed a finger at him, "Not funny, Sammy."

She turned back and saw the huge smile that was on Dean's face. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips. "What?" she asked confused.

"I missed you so damn much," he answered kissing her again.

Kat kissed him again and held him. She couldn't help feeling though that a part of her was missing. She realized that it was Adora; she ached for her daughter and being with her family felt incomplete without her little girl there.

* * *

Sam woke up when he heard a soft curse come from the first floor. He laid in bed and heard a cupboard door open and then soft footfalls as they walked across the living room then went out the front door. Sam sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He got up and slipped on his shoes and grabbed his flannel and pulled it on.

He looked into Dean and Kat's room and saw that Dean was still in bed but Kat was gone. He quickly went down the stairs and didn't even bother looking to see if Bobby was still in bed since he knew that it was probably Kat who had left the house and went into the night.

He walked outside and looked around. He quickly went down the steps and headed right towards the junkyard. He walked over to the large metal shed and saw a light in the darkness. He walked towards it stopping when he heard Kat's voice.

"Oh baby, you got so big," she whispered softly. Sam could hear the pain in her voice. He walked closer and walked into the shed.

He saw that Kat was standing beside a table and on the table was a large silver dish. Sam walked closer and his heart broke when he saw that in the dish Kat had opened a seeing pool and she was watching Adora sleep. Sam stepped beside Kat and pulled her close to him.

"Say the word, Kat and we can be at Lisa's tomorrow mid morning and bring her home," he said softly.

He felt Kat shake her head. She looked down at the seeing pool one last time before she waved her hand and it disappeared. "No. I want her here so bad and I feel like a part of me is missing but she is safer with Lisa right now. I need to be focused on helping you and Dean and using my powers to do that. If Addie is here with us, my focus would be split," she wiped her tears away, "Dean did what was right for her."

Sam sighed. "Dean only did it because he was going to say yes to Michael and be his meatsuit."

Kat snorted. "He would have tried but with the binding spell, neither of you are saying yes."

Sam looked at Kat and saw the pain still in her eyes, "why didn't you do this inside?"

He saw her look away. "I don't want Dean to know how much it hurts not having Addie here. It hurt when I was over there, but I was a world away. Here though," she sighed, "I have to keep myself from driving over there and grabbing her. I don't want Dean to know that. I don't want him to think that he made the wrong decision."

Sam pulled her close and led her back towards the house. "You know, you got to stop protecting him and burying how you feel."

He felt her tense up. "Talking about how I feel and everything that has happened won't help anyone. Getting Lucifer back in his cage will. So let's focus on that."

Sam watched as she pulled away and walked up the steps and into the house. Sam watched her go and realized that she was hiding something. He didn't know what it was but it was something big.

* * *

A/N: Sorry, I haven't posted in a while. My life has been very busy so I have barely had time to sit down and write and edit. So here are some chapters and I promise I am working on more. Any mistakes I made are mine and I'm sorry if I missed some. Anyway, enjoy and I'll see you guys later.


	17. Chapter 16

Sam stood in the kitchen with Dean, Kat and Bobby. Kat was standing beside a map about to place her hand on it to do a locator spell when Dean's phone rang. Kat turned her head and glanced at Dean. Sam smirked at the look on her face. It was an irritated one.

"Sorry," Dean said as he pulled out his cell phone. "Hello?... Cas."

Sam watched as Kat rolled her eyes and swore, "Leave it to the fucking angel to mess everything up," she said.

"You know, Cas has been helpful lately," Sam answered.

He saw a death glare from Kat. "I do not trust anyone who is an angel. I don't care how helpful he has been, I will kill him and not feel sorry about it."

Sam just looked at her. "You know whatever Gabriel did-."

"Sam, don't. I have had it with angels and demons. If I had my way I'd rid the world of both of them."

"All right, Cas Bobby will send the money. And, ah, a word of advice, don't take too much pain medication," Dean finished the call and rejoined them. He saw the look that Bobby was giving him. "What?"

"And why exactly am I the one sending money to Cas?" Bobby asked.

"Cause Sam and I are broke."

"I could use a spell and-," Kat started.

"Kitten, credit card fraud is one thing, stealing money is another," Dean said.

Sam snorted. "Dude, they are basically the same thing."

"No, they aren't."

"Yes, they-."

Kat whistled. "Guys, more important things on the table then debating which is worse, fraud or theft."

Sam watched as Dean nodded. "Right, the spell."

"All right, boys and Bobby, hold on to your hats and watch this witch work."

"You know, the term witch really isn't meant to be a compliment," Sam had to say.

"Sammy, if I were you I'd be quiet before I make you five feet shorter," Kat responded.

Sam ignored Dean's laugh as the three of them turned back to the map. He watched as Kat closed her eyes and muttered something. She then held her hand over the map. Fire burned all around it destroying the map. It stopped burning around the state of Iowa. He watched as Kat opened her eyes and looked down at the map.

"So, he's in Iowa. Huh, I would have thought being the horseman bringing sickness he would have picked, I dunno, a big town like New York or something," she said looking at Sam and Dean.

"Yeah, no kidding," Sam agreed.

"Maybe he likes the country living," Dean said.

"Sure, cause I am sure he just loves to sit on the porch and rock back and forth on his rocking chair when he is not infecting the world with swine flu," Kat said smirking at Dean.

"Are you guys done?" Bobby asked rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, Bobby. All right map of Iowa it is," Kat said turning and searching through the pile of maps beside her.

Sam sighed and pulled out a chair. He sat on it and began to think about a plan that he had been forming in his mind. It wasn't perfect but it was the only plan they had.

* * *

Kat watched as the flames burned everywhere on the map except for the town of Davenport. She turned and looked at Sam, Dean and Bobby. She pointed to the town.

"Pestilence is in Davenport, Iowa," she said to them.

"Do you know where in Davenport?" Dean asked.

Kat shrugged. "I dunno but I am guessing if he is bringing sickness, the hospital or medical center would be a good place to start. We can span out from there."

"Do you ijits have a plan?" Bobby asked.

"Not die," Sam, Kat and Dean answered all at once.

Kat saw Bobby roll his eyes. "I swear to god, I must have pissed someone off thoroughly in my past life to be stuck with your three."

"Or, you made someone really happy," Kat said smiling.

"I, uh, have a plan," Sam said softly.

Kat turned and looked at Sam and knew right away she was going to hate his plan. He wasn't even looking at them, he was looking at the ground. She walked over to him and poked him in the chest. He finally looked up and met her eyes. She saw his eyes were filled with guilt and he was trying to wear a neutral look on his face.

"What's the plan?" Dean asked. Kat heard him pull out a chair and sit down. She kept her eyes on Sam though.

"I was thinking, since Lucifer wants me as his meat suit, we give him what he wants. We get all the rings and then I go to Lucifer agree to be his vessel and trap him back in the cage," Kat stood there staring at Sam. She watched as Sam looked up and looked at everyone. "It's a good plan."

"It's a stupid ass plan that has you trapped in the cage with Lucifer until the end of fucking time," Kat said firmly. She crossed her arms on her chest, "I am vetoing the plan."

"You don't get a vote," Sam said.

"The hell I don't. Newsflash, Sam you can't say yes unless I say yes, and I ain't fucking saying yes."

Sam sighed. "Dean, a little help here."

Kat turned and looked at Dean. She saw the look on his face. She stood taller and pointed the finger at him. "Don't you dare-."

"It's a good plan," he said softly.

Kat looked between Dean and Sam. "What the hell happened to you two? This is not a good plan. This plan ends with Sam locked in the cage with Lucifer. I am not letting my daughter's only uncle throw his life away. I don't fucking care if Lucifer walks the earth for another million years. This family has given enough, we are not sacrificing ourselves anymore," she stated firmly.

She looked at them. She only looked up when Bobby cleared his throat. She looked at him and saw the soft smile he had on his face. "That was some speech you gave. However, you guys should probably be hitting the road right now. Who knows how long the horseman will hang around Iowa."

Kat nodded, "Right," she turned and looked at the boys, "let's go."

She walked to the door and grabbed her duffel bag. She walked out the house and walked down to the impala. She looked at it and smiled thinking of all the happy memories she had of that car. She opened the back passenger door and threw her duffel inside. She then climbed in and slammed the door. She rested her head on the back of the seat and waited for Sam and Dean to come. She closed her eyes as she heard the door to Bobby's close and Sam and Dean's boots hitting the steps as they headed towards the impala. She couldn't believe that they both thought Sam saying yes to Lucifer was a good idea. It was the furthest thing from a good idea. It would only lead to pain and she was not going to allow that. There had to be another way and on the way to Iowa she was going to try to put another plan together. A plan that had them all surviving and not sacrificing themselves for the entire world.

* * *

Dean looked in his rear view mirror at Kat sitting in the backseat staring on the window. She was being way too quiet for his liking. He turned and glanced at Sam. His baby brother was sulking in the passenger seat. Dean had no doubt that Sam was trying to perfect his argument that his plan was the only sure thing while Kat was sitting in the backseat thinking up another plan to save him. Dean sighed and griped the steering wheel tight.

He sat there and knew that things could blow up between the two people he loved most if he didn't do something. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and smiled when he saw a turn off and a cheap possibly sleazy motel up ahead. He quickly switched lanes and turned off. He saw Sam glance up and glare at him.

"What are you doing, Dean?" he asked his voice annoyed.

Dean just smirked and tapped the wheel again. "I thought we could all get a good night sleep before we go and try to take on Pestilence," he said softly.

"I like that idea," Kat said from the back, "I could use a good night's sleep to charge up my battery."

"Are you talking about your brain or your powers?" Dean asked glancing in the rear view mirror and smirking at her.

"Both," she answered smirking back.

Dean parked the car in front of the motel office. He shut it off at the same time that Sam threw open the passenger door. "I'll go get a room," he said.

"Two rooms!" Dean called after him. He saw Sam roll his eyes and then the door to the impala slammed shut. He turned and looked at Kat in the backseat. "So, thought of any plans yet?" he asked.

"Well, I have this really awesome one, where we ask Lucifer nicely to go back in the cage. I mean, we say please with a cherry on top. And weird part, he says yes," she said rested her head on the back of the seat.

Dean thought about it. "It could work. Sam and I certainly hadn't thought of that."

"Dean," she stated her voice clearly telling him she did not appreciate his smartass attitude at the moment.

"Sorry," he sighed and looked out the windshield of the car and watched Sam wait for the woman at the desk to get off the phone, "I know that it seems hopeless right now but you will think of something. You always do."

Kat snorted. "Oh yeah, Kitty Kat with all the great plans. That's me."

Dean turned back and looked at her, "You okay, Kitten?"

He watched her and saw her stare at the roof of the impala. He saw the tears form in her eyes and them slowly rolling down her cheeks. "I'm all right," she answered blinking her eyes and wiping away the tears that had already fallen.

"Come on, don't do that. Not one freaking day after you've been back," he said.

"Do what?"

"Hiding your feelings from me and not talking to me. Katerina, we have been through a lot of shit together, and usually I would totally let you shut yourself off from me but not anymore. I need you to talk to me."

He watched as she lowered her head and faced him. "You called me Katerina," she said.

"Well, yeah. That is your name, isn't it or did it change recently?"

"No, it's just," he watched as she shook her head. "You've always called me Kitten," she said.

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, but I thought that calling you by your name would get you to pay attention," he pointed his finger at her, "and no changing the subject. Talk to me."

"Later," she said softly, "when we're alone."

Dean nodded and turned just as Sam climbed back in the passenger seat and tossed him a key on a pink ring. "You better not sleep in tomorrow," his little brother said, "we need to get up at first light and hit the road again."

Dean rolled his eyes and started the impala. "Well, then you better set your alarm clock, Samantha. Lord knows, I wouldn't want to be late to meet a freaking horseman that will probably kill me," he muttered moving the impala and driving down the long row of rooms until he found the one numbered 10 on his key ring.

"Way to think positive, Dean," Kat muttered from the backseat.

"I try, baby, I try."

Dean pulled up in the parking space and turned the car off again. He glanced in the rear view mirror and saw Kat meet his eyes for a moment. She then climbed out of the backseat. He wondered if she was really going to talk to him and share her thoughts or if she was just going to clam up and push him away. He climbed out of the impala and really hoped she would talk to him. He wanted to let her know that she wasn't alone anymore. She was back home with her family where she belonged.


	18. Chapter 17

Kat tossed her bag down on the floor in front of the bed and raked her hands through her hair. She turned when Dean slammed the door and tossed his duffel on the floor. She looked at him and felt her heart beat a little faster and her heart ache a little less. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

"Kitten," he asked also holding her tight.

"I just need a minute in your arms," she said closing her eyes and taking in his scent. In his arms, her mind stopped thinking about plans to get Lucifer back into his cage, how much she missed her baby girl and how much guilt she felt in having had sex with Jensen. In Dean's arms, everything just seemed to float away and she felt lighter and freer then she had in months. She opened her eyes and let tears fall when she realized that she was going to have to tell Dean her thoughts and her fears. He didn't want her lying to him anymore. She held him tighter.

"Kitten, I'm not going anywhere," he told her kissing her hair.

"I know, I just," she bit her lip, "I just need to hold you."

Dean was silent for awhile. He then pulled away and took her face in his hands. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "Talk to me," he said softly.

Kat looked into his green eyes and hated that her mind drifted to Jensen. She pulled away from Dean and walked away from him. She turned back and looked at him. She crossed her arms on her chest and bit her bottom lip. "I really don't want to tell you some of these things," she said softly.

She watched as Dean just looked at her. "I think I know what one of those things is," he said softly. "Adora. You miss her and it's killing you not having her here."

Kat nodded. She wiped the tears from her face. "I know why you did it, Dean. I know that she needs to be kept safe it's just," Kat bit her lip and hugged herself, "I miss her so much. Now that I am back, all I want to do is hold her and let her know that I still love her."

"We can go and get her," Dean said. She saw how much pain he was in as well without their daughter. "After this with Pestilence, we will go and-."

"No," Kat said the pain in her voice evident. "We can't. She is safer there then with us. At least until we figure out how to get Lucifer back in his cage. Which leads me to one of the other reasons I am losing it. I can't think of another plan that is going to save Sam. But I am not going to say yes, Dean. I can't. I won't lose Sam. He is a part of this family and I am not losing anyone."

She saw Dean nod. He wiped his eyes and she saw the tears that he refused to let fall. "I don't know if there is another way, Kitten. If there is, I know you will find it. And I don't blame you for not wanting to say yes. Even after all the crap that is happen between Sam and me, I can't imagine a life without him either."

Kat nodded. "We have to find another way."

"We will," Dean walked over to her and took her hands in his. "So, is there anything else?"

Kat looked at him and thought about saying no. But she knew how much it meant to him that she was being honest to him. She nodded. She pulled away from his touch and took a step back. "I had sex with Jensen," she said softly.

* * *

Dean stood and looked at Kat. He saw the tears roll down her cheeks and the five words echoed in his head. _I had sex with Jensen_. He turned away from her and walked away. He stopped when he reached the door. He couldn't bring himself to open it and walk away. Instead he stood there with his back towards her tears threatening to fall wondering why she had bothered to come back. She had obviously finally gotten Jensen to love her. Why hadn't she stayed behind with him where she was safe?

"It was after we talked with the mirrors," she said softly, "I just... I wanted you, Dean. I needed you and wanted you so bad. But you weren't there. You weren't there because I was fucking stupid enough to think that I could trick the angels. I thought I could be one step ahead of them. But I wasn't," she said softy.

Dean let his tears fall. "Why didn't you stay?" he asked his voice hard and cold.

"I couldn't stay once Gabriel told me what had happened. You needed me here and I was not going to stay away from anymore. I love you, Dean. And Jensen was just a poor substitute for you."

Dean turned and looked at her. He saw Kat standing there tears rolling down her cheeks. He looked at the floor and wiped the tears from his face. "You always wanted him, Katerina. You could have had him," he said.

"No, I couldn't. I couldn't be with him after you. Don't you get that?" Kat stated. Dean looked up when she walked over to him. "I could never be with him after everything we have. You are the one I want Dean. I love you."

Dean looked at Kat and knew she wasn't lying. She had come back to him. She could have stayed in that perfect world with Jensen and never come back to this one that had caused her so much pain and heartache. But she had. And it wasn't just for Adora. She had come back for him, to help him. He reached out and yanked her forward and kissed her hard and deep.

"I fucking love you," he told her raking his hands through her hair.

He felt her tears on his cheeks as he pressed his face into hers. "I am sorry, Dean. I shouldn't-."

"Shh, you're here now and that's all that matters."

"No," Kat pulled away and looked at him. "There's more. When I said Gabriel erased me from everyone's head over there, I meant it. Jensen doesn't remember me or what happened. I thought," she shrugged and looked down, "I thought that if he didn't remember it, then technically it never happened. I wasn't going to tell you."

"What changed your mind?" Dean asked flicking away her tears as fast as they rolled down her cheeks.

"You and your damn understanding beautiful green eyes," she pressed a kiss to his lips, "I didn't want to lie to you. I mean, I have lied to you enough, Dean. This time, it should be a clean slate between us."

Dean smiled and kissed her. "I like the idea of a clean slate. As long as we can still get dirty," Dean picked her up and carried her t the bed and dumped her on it and followed with his body over hers.

Kat laughed and raked her hands through her hair. "Of course. I miss getting dirty with you."

Dean laughed and began to kiss down Kat's neck and pulling at her clothes. It had been much too long since the last time he had felt her skin against his. He was going to enjoy it before the world crashed down around them again.

* * *

Sam banged on the motel room door again and wanted to scream. Dean and Kat were taking their sweet old time and they had a fucking horseman to kill. He turned when the door finally opened and Dean leaned in the doorway just wearing his pair of jeans.

"Really?" Sam demanded.

"Really, what, Sammy?" Dean asked smirking.

"We have a fucking horseman to track down and kill! And you and Kat have decided to take this time to have sex!" Sam yelled.

Sam watched as Dean's face hardened. "We were talking last night, not that it's any of your business but Kitten needed to get some things off her chest. We'll be with you shortly."

Sam took a step back to avoid the door hitting him in the face as Dean slammed it shut. He stood there shocked. He realized that something must have happened between Dean and Kat the night before. They probably had some heavy talk. Sam sighed and turned with his back towards the door. He really hoped that whatever it was, they had worked it out. The last thing he wanted was their relationship drama getting in the way of the hunt for the horseman.

The door opened and Kat walked out carrying her bag. Sam looked at her and saw that the bags and dark circles had lessened from her eyes. It actually looked liked she had gotten a good night sleep for once. He didn't say anything to her though because she had a frown on her face and she wouldn't face him. He watched as Dean followed her and slammed the door to the motel room. He threw the key Sam.

"Go return this," he said.

Sam sighed knowing that tone of Dean's voice. The rest of the drive was going to be hell. He caught the key and held it in his hand with his and walked back to the office. He handed over the keys to the new guy at the desk and quickly walked out. He waited as Dean drove the impala over to him. He saw Kat sitting in the passenger seat. He walked around the impala and climbed in the backseat on the passenger side. He sat back as Dean drove the car back on the highway.

"So, is everything okay between you two?" he asked softly. He wanted to talk to them. He didn't want to sit in an awkward silence until they got to Iowa.

"Everything is fine between us. Not that you really care since you are thinking of dying," Kat answered stiffly.

Sam sighed. "I don't want to die. I just know that the only way of getting Lucifer in the cage is through me."

"No, it isn't," Kat insisted.

"You don't know that, Katerina. I know that you want me to stay alive and be a part of this family for Addie, but there is a world full of people who are going to suffer if we don't stuff Lucifer back in his cage. I think that is more important than my life."

Sam ducked when Kat tossed an empty pop bottle at his head. He looked up and saw her turned in the seat glaring at him. "Nothing is more important than your life, Sam Winchester. I know that I am probably talking for nothing and that you won't listen to a word I have to say, but I am going to say it anyway," Kat said. She reached out and took his hand. Sam let her. "You don't need to make up for all the horrible things you've done. Sacrificing yourself is not the way to erase trusting Ruby or drinking demon blood. You have nothing to make amends for. You are a hero, Sam. You're my hero and I know that if you stick around long enough, you will be Adora's hero. Hell, you probably already are," Sam saw the tears in Kat's eyes. "I can't lose you, Sam and I know that Dean feels the same way. So maybe, instead of acting like this plan of yours is a foregone conclusion, you could help us think of another way to save the world. One that does not involve someone named Winchester giving their life to the cause."

Sam looked at Kat and saw the pain in her eyes. He nodded and squeezed her hand. "Okay, since you've made a great argument, I will do that," he lied. He knew that his plan was the only way but he wasn't going to keep pushing it. He saw how upset it made Kat and he just wanted their time together to be happy. He sighed and leaned back in the seat and watched as Kat turned back towards Dean. Dean had stayed silent the whole time and Sam still didn't know how his older brother felt about his plan. Deep down, Sam had a feeling that Dean was on his side. At least, he hoped he was. They had a world to save.


	19. Chapter 18

Dean checked his shotgun again and nodded when he saw that it was clean and ready to go. He turned and watched Kat. She was stretching and wiggling her fingers in the air. He had no idea what she had planned but he had a feeling that she was going to take out all her frustration out on Pestilence. He decided that she had the right idea and he was going to do the same. He turned and saw Sam off to the side staring at the sky. He walked over to his brother and stood beside him.

"I don't think we should let Kat in there," Sam said.

Dean snorted. "Are you going to be the one to stop her?"

Dean watched as Sam sighed and shook his head. "She could get hurt."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, she could and we could get hurt trying to keep her out of there." Dean turned and glanced at Kat. He saw her standing there her eyes closed as she breathed in the air. He turned and looked at Sam. "I know that you want to protect her and keep her safe, I want to do the same thing. It's just that, we can't. She wants and needs to fight with us."

"No, she doesn't Dean." Dean saw the frustration on Sam's face. "Adora needs her mother. Kat is putting herself in danger and-."

"And we need her, Sam," Dean stated the obvious, "She is a powerful natural witch and if we have any chance of saving the world, we need Katerina fighting with us."

Dean watched Sam and could see that his brother still wanted to argue with him. Sam shut his mouth though and just walked away. Dean heard Kat walk up to him. He turned and faced her. He gave her a smile but saw that she had a look of concern on her face.

"What was that about?" she asked nodding towards Sam.

"Sammy wants to keep you from fighting. He says Addie deserves to have her mother and needs you so you should sit this fight out," Dean explained.

He saw Kat look at her grey eyes filled with questions. "And you actually want me to fight beside you guys?" she asked shock in her voice.

Dean sighed, "No, I don't. Ever part of me is screaming to handcuff you to the car to keep you safe," he looked in her eyes and hated how unsurprised she looked. He reached out and took her hand. "I have learned from my mistakes though, Kitten. I know that I can't force you not to do something. You want to be here with us, so I am not going to fight you on that. Plus, I know we need you. You are powerful and we need that to win this fight," he explained.

He saw Kat nod then she looked away. "Sam is right though. Adora needs me too," she answered.

"She needs both of us," Dean took Kat's arm and pulled her close to him. He kissed her on the temple. "How about I keep you safe and you keep me safe and we both keep Sam safe so we all can get back to Addie?" he asked.

He saw Kat smile. "Sounds like an exhausting plan."

Dean nodded. "It is."

"Guys, you ready?" Sam asked walking over to them.

Dean pulled away from Kat and looked at her. She nodded and pulled away from him. Dean looked at Sam and also nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

* * *

Kat walked down the hall behind Sam and Dean. She closed her eyes and focused on her power. She felt it pulsing in her veins. She opened her eyes and let Dean push her back against the wall. She looked over and saw Sam lean into and look in a doorway. Sam turned and looked at them and shook his head. Dean let her up and followed Sam down to the next door. Kat followed them both. She stopped when she felt a darkness surround her. She stood in the hallway and saw Sam and Dean stop at the next doorway. They stood on either sides of it.

"I know you are there, Winchesters. I can sense your witch," Pestilence said. His voice seemed to echo to Kat's soul. She hated the feeling and hated him even more.

Kat saw Sam and Dean look at each other then glance at her. She knew what was coming before they said it; they were going to try and send her out. She shook her head and walked right past them. She stood in the middle of the doorway and looked into the room.

She saw an elderly woman lying in the bed coughing. She turned and looked at the man sitting beside the bed. He was also coughing and blowing his nose. He looked about fifty and not healthy at all. She took a step into the room despite Dean shaking his head at her.

"So, you're Pestilence," she said softly.

"I am. And you are Katerina McRae. Natural witch. One of only two in the world at the moment. I believe Lucifer and the angels have wreaked havoc with the rest of your population," he answered.

Kat bit the inside of her mouth to not react to that. _One of only two. Addie, my poor baby girl._ She straightened her shoulders. "Well, they haven't gotten me yet, so that's a plus."

Pestilence smiled and laughed. It lead to a coughing fit. Kat tried not to hurl when he coughed up phlegm and spit it on the floor beside him. "Believe me, it will not be a plus for long. I have ways of making you suffer."

Kat heard Dean and Sam walk into the room behind her. She was glad. She didn't know how to respond to what the horseman had said. So far, she wasn't suffering from any plague or sickness. She glanced at Sam and Dean. She watched in horror as they began to pale before her eyes. She turned back and saw the Horseman smile at her.

"Dear Katerina, you are immune to me. I don't know why, no one has ever known why natural witches are immune to the horsemen. Even Death, my dear child. You and your daughter will not die easily. Oh no, natural witches are hard to kill. Granted, they have been dropping like flies recently."

Kat felt her power rise to the surface as her anger bubbled. She heard the windows crack and knew it was her doing. "We just want the ring. Give it to us, and we will leave you alone."

He looked at her and laughed. "And what? I am just supposed to take your word for it?"

Kat nodded and smirked. "Well, yeah. Of course there is always option B."

"And what is option B? Better think fast, Katerina because-."

Kat looked at him and sent her power straight at him. She stepped back when his head exploded. She heaved when she wiped the blood and tissue from her face. She turned and looked at Sam and Dean. She was relieved when she saw that they were slowly getting colour back into their faces. She saw Sam and Dean both glance behind her at what was left of the horseman.

"You know, you didn't have to kill him," Sam said wincing as he pushed himself to his feet.

"I was getting bored," she said turning and walking over to the body. She leaned down and looked at his hands. She saw the ring. She lifted the hand and yanked the ring off. She turned and was surprised when she saw Castiel ran into the room.

"Is everything all right?" he demanded holding a gun by the barrel as he looked around the room.

Kat raised an eyebrow and tossed the ring up in the air and caught it. She looked at Dean as he stood up. He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes. She walked over to them and wrapped an arm around Dean's waist to keep him standing.

"Everything is fine, Cas. I got the ring and we can move on," she said shoving the ring in her pocket.

She saw Castiel eyeing her. "You got the ring? But, how?"

Kat shrugged. "By asking him nicely. Let's go now."

Kat pulled away from them and walked out into the hallway. She still heard the horseman's words echoed in her head. She didn't want to think what it could mean for the future. She needed to get back to Bobby's and have a nice long look at his books on natural witches. It was time she finally learned everything about what she was.

* * *

Sam walked down the stairs and tried to be quiet not to disturb Bobby on his cot. He walked into the kitchen and stopped. He saw Kat sitting at the table her legs tucked under her with a book resting on her knees. He had thought she had turned in with Dean hours ago when they had gotten back to Bobby's. He leaned in the doorway and whistled slightly to get her attention. She looked up and he saw the bags under her eyes.

"You should be in bed," he said softly.

"I can't sleep. Everything that Pestilence said is echoing in my head. I decided it's probably time to actually read up about what I am," she answered grabbing her coffee cup.

"All right. How is that going?"

Sam walked over and sat across from her at the table. He watched as she silently handed over the book. He raised an eyebrow but took it. He then read the page she tapped with her finger. He read the paragraph once then frowned and read it again. He cursed and looked up at meet her eyes.

"I know," she muttered.

"This means that if Pestilence was telling the truth you and Addie-," Sam started.

"If Adora and I really are the two last remaining natural witches in the world, well then we are two of the most powerful people on Earth. Our powers may even surpass those of angels when combined."

Sam closed the book and tossed it on the table. "So, how do we keep this from Dean?" he asked the question he dreaded the answer to.

He watched as she took her coffee mug and took a long sip from it. She looked at him and he could see the wariness in her eyes and the tension of her shoulders. She looked down at the floor and he watched as she shrugged.

"I am getting way too tired of lying," she said.

"About damn time," Sam commented.

"Shut up. Like you are one to talk and judge me."

"I'm not. I'm just glad that you and Dean and starting to do this whole honesty thing. It works wonders for relationships."

"Yeah, it can. It can also tear them apart."

Sam eyed Kat. "Is there something I should know?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, it's not important."

"It sounds important."

"Sam, I don't want to do this now."

"What exactly are we doing?"

Kat sighed and looked at him. Sam could see the bags under her eyes and the worry lines forming. "I know you are lying to Dean and I. You still plan on saying yes," she said.

Sam looked away from her. "You know it's still our only plan."

"No, it isn't. We have another plan."

"Oh really? And what is that?"

"Me as bait."

Sam shook his head. "Not happening."

"Yes, happening. Lucifer wants me dead. The angels probably still want me dead because I am still in their way for their perfect apocalypse. I can be bait and Lucifer will walk right into and then we-."

"We what exactly, Katerina? We shove him into the cage?"

Kat shrugged. "Why not? I mean, he maybe the devil but he is currently wearing a human body so he can't weigh that much."

Sam shoved himself away from the table and stood. He placed his hands on the table and leaned in closer hovering over Kat. "How about this? We will go with your plan when and if Dean decides it's a good idea."

Kat looked up at him and smiled. "Well, Sammy, I have ways of persuading him to my way of thinking."

"Not about this you don't. He would rather lose Addie's uncle than her mother. You forget Kat, Dean and I grew up without our mother. There ain't no way in hell we are going to let Addie grow up the same way."

Kat stood and shoved Sam. "There's the difference between us, Sam. I plan on living even if I am bait. I don't plan on spending the next few millennia trapped with Lucifer in the cage. You do."

Sam let Kat walk past him. He leaned against the table and cursed. They had one ring left to get which meant Sam had that much time to make sure that Dean knew Kat's plan was stupid. Granted, Sam was hoping that Dean would think that the moment Kat mentioned the plan. Sam shook his head and walked out of the kitchen. He would worry about that after he had some sleep.


	20. Chapter 19

Kat stood by the window and looked outside. Her view wasn't anything great; it was an old pile of pick-up trucks but it was good enough at the moment. She was thinking about how exactly she was going to tell Dean about her new plan and about her and Addie being the only two natural witches left. She sighed and raked a hand through her hair.

"I'd rather tell him I slept with Jensen again," she muttered under her breath.

"What did you say?" Dean asked walking into the room.

Kat turned and watched him as he rubbed a towel on his head to dry his hair from his shower. Kat crossed her arms on her chest and leaned against the wall. She bit her lip and watched as Dean tossed the towel aside and grabbed a shirt. She had to admit that watching him put his clothes on was almost as sexy as watching him take them off. She blinked her eyes and realized that she needed to keep her mind on what she had to talk to Dean about not sexy thoughts about him.

"Nothing important at the moment. Dean, we need to talk," she said softly.

She watched as Dean turned and looked at her. "Ah, shit. What did I do this time?"

Kat blinked in surprise. "What?" she asked confused.

"I know that look you have on your face. It's the usual look you have when I fuck up," Dean sighed and waved his hands towards his body. "So let's go. Hit me with what I did recently that hurt you."

Kat stood there and looked at the man that held her heart. She felt tears come to her eyes. She walked over to him and hugged him close. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. She felt his arms come around her waist and he held her just as tight. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall.

"Kitten?" he whispered.

"This is not about anything you did, Dean. You have been great and so loving and forgiving. You did nothing wrong here," she said softly.

"All right, so what is going on then?" Dean asked as he pulled away and brushed the hair away from her face. "What has you walking around with your pissed off worried face?"

Kat smiled a bit and placed her hands on Dean chest. "You aren't going to like it."

"Tell me anyway."

"If Pestilence was right and me and Adora are the last two natural witches on Earth then... Dean, we are two of the most powerful beings on the planet," she said.

Kat looked into Dean's eyes and waited. She saw the panic in them for a moment and then acceptance. He nodded. "All right. Are we talking witch powerful or-."

"According to the lore-."

"Look at you sounding all hunter-ish," Dean cut in.

Kat's smile widen. "If Adora and I were to combine our powers, we'd have more power than an angel. I think. I mean the only way to find out is to actually do it."

"Yeah, let's not try that anytime soon."

Kat laughed. "Yeah, we have enough problems right now."

Dean leaned in and Kat accepted to kiss he pressed to her lips. She rested her forehead against his and loved being able to be that close to him again. "Is there anything else?" he asked stroking her cheek.

Kat pulled away and nodded. "I have another plan to get Lucifer back in his cage," she said.

"All right, let's hear it."

"I am bait and-."

"Nope."

"You didn't even listen to my plan!" she yelled.

"I heard all I needed to hear. You are not being bait."

"So, you would rather Sam say yes than me being bait?"

She watched as Dean turned and glared at her. "I am not losing you, Kitten."

"And I am not losing Sam. I am done standing back and watching you two toss a coin and take turns sacrificing yourselves for this world. I am not going to tell Addie stories about her Uncle Sam. No, Sam is going to live and we are going to put Lucifer back in his cage."

"You could die."

"I could but I won't."

"Oh really? How exactly are you going to not die?"

"Faith in the men I love to protect me."

Kat watched as Dean shook his head. He began to pace. He then stopped and looked at her. "I don't have any faith in myself anymore, Katerina. I can't protect you."

"Yes, you can Dean."

"No, I can't. This plan is not happening."

Kat watched as Dean turned and left the room slamming the door behind him. She groaned and kicked the wall. She leaned against it and cursed. She had to find a way to get Dean and Sam to see that she was right. She had the perfect plan. Plus, she needed them to see that they could protect her. She trusted them to do that.

* * *

Sam sat at the desk and watched as Dean paced in the kitchen again. So far, Sam was sure he had paced all around the first floor of Bobby's house dozens of times. Sam was slightly afraid to ask what was worrying his brother. He didn't want Dean to blow up at him. They had enough problems at the moment.

"Did Kitten talk to you about her plan?" Dean finally said walking over to Sam.

Sam nodded. "She mentioned it."

Dean leaned over the desk and eyed Sam. "Well? What did you think?"

Sam sighed. "I think it's a shit idea."

Dean waved his hands at Sam as he stood back up straight. "Thank you," he said.

"I wasn't done, Dean," Sam added. He watched as Dean eyed him. "It's a shit idea but I know that Kat isn't going to give it up. You know her, Dean. She wants to save me so she isn't going to let me do this."

He watched as Dean turned around and kicked the garbage can. Sam closed the book and waited. Dean turned and faced him again. Sam saw the worry itched on his brother's features.

"Yeah, I know her. She isn't going to take no for an answer," Dean replied. "I just want her to be safe and alive."

"And she wants us safe and alive."

"And she is going to get what she wants, whether you two like it or not," Kat said walking into the room carrying her bags.

Sam looked at Dean and Dean eyed him. They then both turned and looked at her.

"Ah, Kat what's in the bags?" Sam asked.

"My things. I am going to go and visit Adora," Kat said.

"Kitten-," Dean started.

"Nope, no talking about it or coming with me. I am going to go and visit our daughter and you are going to go and get the last ring."

Sam frowned. "Death has the last ring."

"Oh, I know. And he has a thing for you two."

"What?" Dean asked.

"Come on, all you and Sam do is die and come back. Death has got to love you both."

Sam hid his smile when he saw the annoyed look on his brother's face. He stood and walked over to Kat and hugged her close. He pulled away from her and nodded.

"All right. We'll see-."

"Nope, not getting away that fast," Kat said poking him in the chest. "My plan is a go and yours isn't."

"Katerina-," Sam and Dean both said at the same time.

"No, I am not arguing anymore. I am just going to do what you two always do; ignore all the opinions of people who love me and just do what I want anyway. Love you Dean. I'll tell Addie her Daddy loves her too."

Sam watched as Kat pecked Dean on the lips softly and then she was gone out the door. Both Winchesters stood there and looked at each other. Sam turned when Bobby rolled his wheel chair into the room.

"Did you-," Sam started.

"I knew," Bobby answered as they heard a car's engine start outside. "I knew the moment Kat came back that she would want to see Addie. I just wondered why it took so damn long."

Sam looked at Dean. Dean looked away. "So, what do we have on Death?"

Sam shook his head. "You're really not going to talk about it, are you?" he asked.

"No, Sam, I'm not. What I am going to do is try my damnest to get Death's ring and then find out how to get you out of the connection with Kat. Then you go thru with your awesome plan of trapping the devil in the cage," Dean said.

"Oh, is that all?" Bobby said.

"Yeah, that's all. Oh, did I mention we need to do all of this before Kat comes back?"

Sam watched as Dean stalked away and shook his head. He turned and looked at Bobby but the other man shook his head as well. Sam wanted to be able to talk Dean out of this plan but he knew there was no way that he would be able to. Dean was dead set on stopping Kat from being bait and Sam didn't blame him. He just hoped that they could do it all before Kat decided to come back from her visit.

* * *

Kat paced back and forth. She turned and stopped when she saw Gabriel standing in front of her. She raised her arm and looked at her watch there. She then glanced at the arch angel. She watched as he rolled his eyes. She crossed her arms on her chest and smiled at him.

"I am not going to like why you summoned here, am I?" he asked softly.

"Probably not," she said. "I need Death's ring. Well, actually Sam, Dean and I need it. And I would like very much for you to get it for us."

"Yeah, sure, I'll just go and knock on Death's door-."

"I thought it was it was knocking on heaven's door?" Kat interjected.

"-and ask for him to give up his ring that holds all his power. Yeah, cause he is going to just hand it over to me."

"I mean, you could ask nicely."

Kat watched as Gabriel narrowed his eyes at her. "I know what you are thinking, Katerina and it won't work. Your plan is not going to work."

"And why is that?"

"The angels are targeting you, Kat. I warded you but it won't hold forever. They will find a way to track you down and when they find you they will-."

"Kill me? Yeah, I know. Pestilence told me though that natural witches are hard to kill."

Gabriel cursed. "They are but it's angels, Katerina. They can and will kill you."

Kat felt the fear creep back up her spine. She tried to stand taller and straighter but she knew that Gabriel didn't believe her. She closed her eyes for a moment and let her body slump. She opened her eyes and looked at the arch angel.

"I know they will," she whispered.

Gabriel looked at her for a moment and then cursed. Kat raised a brow at some of the very un-angel language coming out of his mouth.

"That's your plan, isn't it? You know that they will kill you but you are hoping to get Death's ring before they do," he said.

"It's the only plan I got right now. If I can get the ring, then maybe I have half a shot at tossing Lucifer back in his cage before the angels come and kill me," Kat answered.

"You really aren't planning on living thru this, are you?"

Kat felt tears come to her. "Actually, I am. I just... I know how this world works, Gabriel. People the Winchesters love and care about always end up dead. I am the mother of Dean's only child, I am sure that I am going to kick it. I just hope that if this is how I die, I take Lucifer with me."

She waited. Gabriel grabbed her by the shoulders and looked deep in her eyes. "I am not going to let them take you."

She looked back into his eyes and smiled. "Didn't know you cared, Gabe."

"Are you kidding me? It's humans like you that make this whole world bearable."

"Does that mean you will help me?"

Gabriel let her go and sighed. "Yeah, fine, I'll help."

"Good."

Kat felt relieved at the thought of having an arch angel on their team. She could still fear that fear though and knew that not everything was worked out. Things go still go wrong and she, or one of the Winchesters could end up dead. She took a deep breath and decided to focus on seeing her daughter again. She had time to work out the rest.


	21. Chapter 20

Dean stared at the paper in front of him. He looked up and looked at Gabriel. Or what he thought was Gabriel. He shook his head. Kat had told him the angel had a new vessel, but to see it (him?) in front of him was weird. He looked back down at the paper.

"Death wants to have dinner with me?" Dean asked wondering why it seemed like Death wanted to date him instead of kill him.

Gabriel raised a blond eyebrow. "Why does that sound like it worries you?"

"Well... He is Death."

"Yeah, and?"

Dean looked at the angel. "I don't want to end up choking on my food and falling face first into my plate dead."

Gabriel laughed. "Come on, you're a Winchester. I am sure that Death wouldn't have such a mundane, well death planned for you."

"No, he's already been responsible for me dying hundreds of time."

Gabriel smiled. "Nope, that was just all me."

Dean frowned at him. "Tell me again why exactly I should trust anything you tell me at all? For all I know this could be a trap."

Gabriel rolled his eyes and held his hands up. "Look, Deano. I am not lying to you. I am trying to help you here. I like Kat and I really don't want to end up on her bad side. She told me to help you get Death's ring."

Dean eyed Gabriel suspiciously. "Really? She told you that?"

Gabriel cursed. "All right, she told me to get the ring before you and Sam did but there was a little problem with that plan."

"Oh and what's that?"

"I guess I may have failed to mention to Kat how much Death dislikes me. Well, angels in general actually. Something about us not being under his control blah blah blah. You know the usual."

Dean looked at Gabriel and wondered why exactly he had been relieved to hear that the arch angel hadn't died. Maybe he had temporarily forgotten how much of a pain Gabe could be. Or, more likely, Kat had been with him and he was always happy around Kat. At the moment though, thinking about Death ripping Gabriel apart did seem like a very pleasant idea.

"Dean?" Gabriel asked.

"Huh?" Dean asked his mind once again focused on Gabriel and the conversation at hand.

Gabriel stared at him and shook his head. "And you have saved the world. I just... It boggles the mind."

Dean crossed his arms on his chest. "I'm about to kill you and save myself from this conversation."

Dean didn't turn when he heard Sam walk into the kitchen.

"You two still talking?" Sam asked.

"Your brother has a thick skull. I need to explain things multiple times in order for him to get it," Gabriel answered.

"He wants me to have dinner with Death," Dean said.

Dean saw Sam look at him then turn and eye Gabriel. "Are you trying to get my brother killed?" Sam asked the angel.

Dean looked at the angel smugly and watched as Gabriel rolled his eyes. "No, Sammy, I am not trying to get your brother killed. He does that good enough all on his own."

Dean frowned but Sam sighed. "Is having dinner with Death really the only way to get his ring?"

"Probably. I mean, at least then you can explain to him what you plan is. I am going to be honest, I don't know which way he is leaning. I know he doesn't like nor trust angels but that doesn't mean he is willing to help save the world. God and Death never really got along."

"You don't say," Dean stated.

Sam cleared his throat. "Thanks for getting us the invite, Gabriel. We'll take it from here."

"All right but I feel the need to remind you that I will be watching you. I made a promise to Kat and I am not going back on it."

Dean watched as Gabriel just disappeared. He walked over to Sam and handed him the paper with the address that Gabriel had give him. Dean walked into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. He heard Sam follow him and he grabbed his brother a beer as well.

"Well, what exactly are we going to do?" Dean asked as he leaned against the counter and handed Sam the beer.

Sam took a sip and looked at Dean. "What else can we do, Dean? We need to get that ring."

"And we need to get it before Kat."

Dean saw Sam nod. "We do. You know she is probably out there right now talking with Gabe trying to figure out a way to get the ring first."

Dean groaned. "I guess I have a date with Death."

He saw Sam smile. "I mean, you have been on worst first dates."

Dean rolled his eyes. "I hate you."

Sam laughed. "Sure, you do."

* * *

Kat parked her car and turned the engine off. She sat there and looked at Lisa's house. She felt her hands grip the steering tight. She remembered Lisa. She remembered a lot of things about Lisa that Dean probably didn't even know. She remembered the script and how the writers had described Lisa and Dean's relationship. _His one chance at love and he lost it. She had always been the one who got away._ Granted, Kat wasn't sure that the writers still felt that way; hell, she was sure Dean didn't. She just knew that at the moment, she owed everything to Lisa. She had taken in Adora without a second thought. Kat took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. It was time to see her daughter again.

She stepped up to the door and knocked. She shoved her hands in her pockets and waited. The door opened and Kat found herself looking at Lisa. Lisa looked at her and then stepped aside and waved her arm.

"Come on in," she said.

"I'm Katerina, Adora's-."

"Mother, I know. Dean packed a picture with Addie's things. She looks a lot like you."

Kat walked into the house and Lisa closed the door behind her. Kat looked around and saw the clean house with pictures on the wall. She heard laughter come from the living room and her heart ached. Adora. Her little girl was happy.

"Addie is with Ben right now. She loves it when he reads to her, he likes to make the voices," Lisa said.

Kat nodded. She reached up and wiped her tears that fell. She looked up and saw Lisa watching her. "Thank you," Kat said.

"You don't have to thank me," Lisa said.

"Yes, I do. I... I left and it was a mistake. And Dean did the only thing he could leaving Adora with someone who was, well safe. You didn't have to take her in but you did and for that I will always owe you."

Kat saw Lisa's face change. She saw compassion there. She looked away. "No, I'm the one that needs to thank you."

Kat looked back at Lisa confused. "What?"

Lisa smiled. "I did love Dean. In a total unrealistic way. I wanted to be with him but I knew that it would never be possible. I wanted him to be happy though. When he showed up here with Addie, I could see he was hurting and in pain. He missed you so much and he was trying so hard to do the right thing for his daughter. Underneath all that though, I could see how much he loved you. It was in the way he talked about you and how his eyes would light up. You gave him a child and happiness and that is all I could have ever wanted for him. So thank you."

Kat looked at Lisa and couldn't believe what the other woman had said. "You did love him or you still do?" she asked softly.

"I probably always will. As someone else who loves Dean, tell me do you think you could ever stop?"

Kat smiled and wiped away the rest of her tears. "No, I don't think one ever stops loving Dean Winchester."

"Mom, who's this?" Kat heard Ben ask.

Kat turned and smiled at him. She watched as Addie walked out behind him. Tears came to her eyes as Adora smiled and ran over to her.

"MOMMA!" the little girl yelled.

Kat caught her daughter in her arms and held her tight. Tears rolled down her cheeks. She buried her nose in Addie's hair and smiled her sweet natural baby scent. She felt Adora hugging her tight. She heard Ben and Lisa talking but they conversation became background noise. All she could think about was the weight of her daughter in her arms. That was what was more important to her.

* * *

Sam sat beside Bobby in the van as they drove off down the highway. His mind was thinking about Dean and how his dinner with Death was going to go. He turned and looked at Bobby when the other man cleared his throat again.

"So, I guess we are not going to talk about it, are we?" Bobby asked.

"Talk about what?" Sam asked.

"Oh, just your great plan that is going to end in your trapped in the cage with Lucifer for the rest of time. You know, that."

"Oh yeah, that." Sam didn't need to turn to know that Bobby was giving him the paten Bobby Singer ijit stare. He sighed and bit his lip then turned and looked at the man who was his father in all the ways John Winchester hadn't been. "I don't know exactly what you want to talk about."

"Are you really sure you want to do this? That this is the only way?"

Sam nodded. "I am sure, Bobby. There is no other way that we can get Lucifer and save the world."

"All right, there is still one tad problem with your plan."

"Katerina," Sam answered.

"Yep, Kat. You know that she is never going to let you say yes. She doesn't want to lose you, Sam. And you can't blame her. We already had to bury Dean, she doesn't want to bury you."

Sam looked away and nodded. He turned and looked out the window. "I know but I have to do this. Addie deserves to live in a world where there is no threat of Lucifer. She deserves to have a normal life. Dean and I were robbed of that."

"Do you really think if you go through with this, that Dean and Kat will leave you there in the cage?"

"They'll have no choice, Bobby. There would be no way to break me out without freeing Lucifer. Once I'm in there, it's done. That is it."

Bobby cursed. "You know, I agree with Kat on one thing. I am also sick of watching you boys sacrifice yourselves for the world or each other."

Sam smiled sadly. "The world has everyone I love in it. I have to save it."

Bobby snorted. "Yeah, sure."

Sam sighed. "Bobby, I need you to promise me-."

"Oh hell no. You do not get to pull that shit with me yet. I am far too sober for this conversation."

Sam laughed. "That's the whole point. I need you sober so you'll remember it."

Bobby cursed. "Not happening yet. Hold on to it for a while and when the time is right, then I will listen."

Sam nodded. "Okay. I guess I can wait."

Sam turned and looked back out the window. He saw the trees passing by and thought about Dean, Kat and Addie. He knew his death would hurt them but he had to do what he could to protect them. He still believed what he told Bobby; Addie deserved to grow up and be anything she wanted not forced to be a hunter. Sam wanted so much more for her. He closed his eyes and prayed Kat would understand and give in to his plan. Once Dean got the last ring, he hoped she would see reason. His plan was the only way to go.


	22. Chapter 21

Kat laid Addie in the crib Lisa had set up in the spare room. Kat reached out and stroked her daughter's hair. She felt tears come to her eyes. She watched her daughter sleep and wondered what she was going to do. The plan had been to leave Adora with Lisa but the more Kat looked at her little girl the larger the ache got. She leaned down and kissed her daughter on the cheek and then turned and walked out of the room.

She found Lisa waiting for her in the kitchen with a glass of red wine. Kat smiled and took the glass from Lisa and took a large sip. She looked around the kitchen. Her eyes found the fridge and she saw pictures that Adora had drawn. Tears came to her eyes again and she looked away. She took a slow easy breath and then looked up to meet Lisa's eyes.

"I'm not taking her with me," Kat said her every word laced with pain.

"I can't imagine how hard this is for you," Lisa said.

Kat shook her head. "It's killing me. All I want is to pick her up and take her with me but..." She paused and took another sip of her wine. She looked at the ceiling and bit her lip to keep her tears from falling. "Dean was right. Addie needs to be here away from us right now."

"Just how bad is it?"

Kat looked down and met Lisa's eyes again. "You don't want to know, Lisa."

"Should I be worried that something could come here and... Hurt us?"

Kat finished her wine. "No, I am going to ward this house so you will be safe. I can also ward you and Ben."

"What about Adora?"

Kat smiled. "She's already been warded."

She looked at Lisa. The other woman looked at her half empty glass of wine. She quickly finished it and then poured them both another glass. "All right, so how exactly does this warding work?"

Kat looked at Lisa closely. "You sure you want to know that?"

Lisa eyed her. "Why wouldn't I?"

Kat looked at her wine glass again. She picked it up and swirled the wine around. Silence descended on the two women as Kat thought really hard how to say what she wanted without offending the woman who would be caring for her daughter. Kat finally thought that the straight forward approach was the best.

"I know how you bailed on Dean after what happened with Ben. You really didn't want much to do with Dean's life or hunting. You were more focused on trying to get him to quit," Kat said softly. "I guess I just assumed the less you knew the happier you would be."

"I wanted to be with Dean but I didn't want the baggage of this life. You can't sit there and tell me you haven't thought about it. That you haven't thought about asking Dean to stop hunting and just settle down somewhere and raise your daughter and just be normal," Lisa said.

Tears came to Kat's eyes. "I had someone I could have been normal with. He, well honestly, he shared a lot of qualities with Dean but I choose Dean. It may sound crazy but I know hunting is who Dean is. This is all he has ever known since he was four. He saves people, Lisa and he saves the whole damn world," Kat looked up and met Lisa's eyes. "Yes, I sometimes daydream about him being a mechanic and the most dangerous thing I have to worry about is him dropping a wench on his foot but deep down, I know that isn't who he is. I love him for what he is and I know what he isn't. Normal is never going to cut it for him, not for the long haul. Sure, he'd try and fake it for me if I asked him to and that's why I don't. I could lose him tomorrow on a hunt but if I do, at least," Kat's voice waived over the words, "at least he will know that I loved him enough to let him be him."

Lisa looked at her and gently shook her head. "I never thought that there would ever be a woman out there that would understand Dean. Sure, I never really tried that much but that first weekend I spent with him, I knew that he had issues and that it would take someone really strong to battle with them in order for him to be happy. I guess I am looking at that woman now."

Kat wiped her tears and shook her head. "No, I'm the one with the issues."

"Well, I mean, you are in love with Dean Winchester."

Kat laughed and finished her wine. She looked at Lisa and found herself liking the other woman. This sense of peace settled on her. Lisa was never going to want Dean back. Lisa loved Dean but the woman across from her was smart enough to know that there was no way in hell Dean and her could work. Dean would always go back to hunting and Lisa couldn't handle that life. Kat looked down at the table and her empty wine glass. She smiled softly knowing that Dean would always be hers. He had shared a part of himself with her that he hadn't with others. She sighed and then looked up and pushed all her thoughts of Dean aside. She had to protect Lisa, Ben and Addie. She needed to make sure that they would be safe when she left.

"So, how about we do this warding now?" she said getting up.

Lisa did the same. "You aren't staying the night?"

Kat stopped moving and closed her eyes against the ache in her chest. _One more day. Just take another day to smell Addie's sweet baby smell and see her cute smile. You need one more day with her,_ a voice inside of her whispered. It begged for just one more day.

"I don't know. Maybe," Kat said turning to walk to the door.

"You know, it's all right to admit that you can't walk away even though you know you need to," Lisa answered.

"I got some stuff in my car. I'll get it and even tell you want I am doing," Kat brushed her off.

Kat walked out the door and jogged down the steps towards her car. She knew that she needed to get a hold of her emotions. She couldn't let them get to her because she had a job to do and worrying about Addie wasn't going to help. She needed to be focused.

* * *

Dean looked at the pizza place. He leaned against the impala and wondered just what exactly Death could do to him if he didn't show up.

 _Probably kill you. Of course, it wouldn't be an easy death. Ha, I made a pun._ He shook his head to clear his mind but still smirked. He took a deep breath and walked towards the pizza place.

He reached the door and stood there for a moment. Now was his moment of truth; did he go in or chicken out? He stood taller and reached out and pulled open the door. Dean Winchester never chickened out.

He looked around the pizza place but didn't see Death anywhere. He did see one lone table set up in the middle of the room. Dean walked over to it and sat down. He looked at his plate and then looked up. Death was sitting across from him. Dean was startled his knees hitting the underside of the table and knocking over his glass. He saw Death raise an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Pizza?" was all that the Horseman asked.

Dean nodded and cleared his throat. "Ah, okay," he said.

"This place has the best deep dish in the whole world. I have grown to love pizza. It really is delicious, isn't it?" Death asked picking up his knife and fork and cutting a piece of his pizza slice and eating it.

Dean nodded again and reached for his knife. He hated that his hand actually shook a tad before he picked the knife up. He then picked up his fork and cut himself a piece. He ate it and had to admit that it did taste good. He looked up and saw Death watching him.

"Why do you want my ring?" Death asked.

Dean almost choked on another bite full of his pizza. He swallowed what was in his mouth and looked at Death. He reached out and took a sip of the beer by his plate. He refrained from looking away from the last Horseman.

"I need it to open the cage again and lock Lucifer back in," Dean admitted.

"I see," Death answered softly. "Are you planning on killing me for it?"

Dean looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Can I?" he saw Death give him a look. "I mean, can you be killed? Aren't you... I dunno, like God or something, you can't be killed?"

He watched as Death gave him a little smirk. "Dean Winchester, do you really think I would tell you if I could be killed?"

"I mean, I had to try, right?" Dean said smiling his bets smile. _Please don't kill me, I want to live to see my little girl grow up._

Death took a long sip of his drink. "Do you know, I'm also not even sure if I can be killed. I have been around for so long. God and I use to talk and argue about who was actually older."

"You know God? You mean, you talked to God?" Dean asked wondering when this had become his life.

Death nodded. "In beginning it was only us after all. It was a tad boring and tedious after a couple hundred years. We ran out of things to say."

Dean wasn't sure if Death was joking or not. He really didn't know what to think at the moment. He just sat there and looked across the table at one of the oldest beings ever. He slowly took another bite of his pizza and wondered when this had become his life. He hadn't signed up for saving the world and having dinner with Death when he had become a hunter. He thought the highlight of his life would be killing vampires.

"Dean, how do you like the pizza?" Death suddenly asked.

Dean coughed and nodded. "It's good."

He looked up and met Death's eyes. He waited. He then watched as Death pulled off his ring and placed it on the table. "I will want it back after all this is over. I will still need it of course."

"So, you're just going to give it to me, just like that?" Dean asked.

Death nodded. "Yes, I don't want the Apocalypse. I don't want this world to end. I like Earth and the world just the way it is," Death said. Dean watched as Death sat back in his chair and seemed to smile. "Are some humans stupid and should be killed? Certainly but on a whole, there are good things about this place, like the food, and while there is bad in the world, there is also good."

Dean wasn't sure if he was hearing Death right and he was definitely sure he was staring. He slowly reached across the table and took the ring. He looked at Death and nodded. "Thank you," he said softly.

"You're welcome, Dean Winchester. Use it wisely," Death said. He then looked across at Dean's unfinished pizza. "Are you going to finish that?"

Dean shook his head and picked up the plate and handed it to Death. "Help yourself," he said.

"Thank you," Death took the plate. "Oh and one last thing, Dean."

"Yes?" Dean said looking at Death.

"The mother of your daughter, Katerina, the angels are close to finding her. I don't believe that it will end well for her if they do."

Dean sat there and closed his eyes. "It won't."

"Of course though in order for your plan to work, the angels will have to kill her, will they not?"

Dean opened his eyes and stood from his chair. "Thank you again for the ring. I will be sure to return it the moment Lucifer is back in his cage."

He turned and began to walk away from Death. "I would not want to be you, Dean Winchester," Death called after him. "You have to choose between the woman you love, the mother of your child or saving the world. Just one more reason this place is so complex and fascinating."

Dean walked out of the pizza place thinking that he didn't want to him either. He was in a no win situation. As much as he wanted Sam's plan to work, knew it was their only real choice, losing Kat was not something he could handle. Saving her though, that would mean dooming the whole world and letting Lucifer win.

Dean walked towards the impala shoving Death's ring in his pocket. His mind was filled with dread over what the future would hold.


	23. Chapter 22

Sam stood in Bobby's kitchen with Dean and Castiel. He looked down at the table and looked at the four rings assembled there. Every time one ring was pulled away, it would be pulled back towards the rest. He turned and looked at Dean. He knew what this meant now. They had the four rings that meant they needed to find a way to separate him from Kat. He saw the look in Dean's eyes though and knew something more was going on.

"Death told me that the angels were after Kitten," Dean said his eyes turning to look at Cas. "How close are they?"

Cas shrugged. "I don't know for sure right now. I have been cut off from the angels since I tried to help save Adam. They could be moments away from finding her, or days."

Sam saw the look Dean got on his face. His brother was pissed and terrified. Not a good combination for Dean Winchester. "Maybe we could call her?" Sam suggested.

"I say it's worth a shot," Bobby seconded the suggestion.

Sam watched as Dean pulled out his cell phone. He then stopped and looked at Cas. "I swear to God, Cas, if Kitten gets killed and you're helpless to bring her back, I will end you where you stand."

"Dean," Sam said.

Cas frowned. "Did you ever think Dean that maybe Katerina was meant to die all along?"

Sam quickly stepped in between them. He shoved Dean aside and nodded towards the door. "Maybe you should go outside and call her," he suggested.

He watched as Dean frowned and glared at Castiel but turned and left the room walking outside. Sam shoved Cas and glared at him.

"What the hell were you thinking telling him that?" Sam demanded.

"I am only saying what you won't, Sam. We both know that there is no way to separate you and Katerina. The only way we can do go thru with this plan is if Katerina dies. Dean needs to prepare himself for that," Castiel stated.

"There is another way and we will find it," Bobby said firmly.

Sam was quiet. He looked at Castiel and saw the stern look on the angel's face and the firm set of his shoulders. Castiel knew he was right. Sam had this horrible feeling that Cas was right too.

* * *

Kat sat on the bench at the park and watched Ben and Adora play. Lisa had asked her to stay another couple of days to watch over the kids because suddenly Lisa's new yoga studio needed work. Kat knew that Lisa was lying but she didn't really care. It was the perfect excuse to stay and spend more time with her daughter before she went off to fight the Devil.

 _God, how am I ever going to explain this to her when she is older? Yeah, I let Lucifer out of his cage, went back to another dimension and then came back. Fuck, I don't even believe me now._ Kat thought rolling her eyes and rubbing her forehead.

She jumped when her phone vibrated on the bench beside her. She grabbed it and answered it. "Yeah?" she said softly.

"Hey Kitten, how's our baby girl?" she heard Dean's rough voice ask her.

Kat smiled. "She currently making her way across the monkey bars with Ben's help," she answered.

"A little daredevil already."

"Yeah, she is. I mean, she is a Winchester."

She heard silence on the other side of the phone. She then heard Dean sigh and she knew that bad news was coming her way. "We found all the rings, Kitten. We have them all," he finally said.

Kat took a slow breath. She then stood from the bench and waved at Ben and Adora. She watched as they waved back. "Okay then. I guess it's time to come back and work on a plan."

"Kitten, we-."

"No, you don't have a plan; you have a stupid idea that will probably end with you and Sam dead. Sorry, I won't stand by and do that. I won't lose my family," she said firmly.

"And I won't lose you."

"You do realize that by choosing to go with Sam's plan, that's what needs to happen right? I need to die in order for Sam to say yes."

"Don't say that! Fuck, I already had Cas saying it; I don't need you saying it too."

Kat closed her eyes. "Dean, do you know for sure that Cas is on our side?"

"Yes," there was a pause, "why?"

"Because he knows where I am and that I am with Adora. Maybe keep an eye on him until I get back."

Dean muttered a string of curses that use to make her blush. "Yeah, all right, I guess I can do that. Kitten, I love you."

Kat smiled. "I love you too."

She hung up her cell and shoved it in her pocket. She walked over to where Ben and Adora were still at the monkey bars. She caught Adora when the girl ran towards her. Kat swung her up and held her on her hip. She kissed Adora on her head and took in the smell of her daughter's soft hair.

"You 'ee me?" Adora asked.

Kat smiled and nodded. "I did honey, you did real well."

"She's a natural," Ben said smiling at Kat.

"She is. Now, it's time to head back because I need to get going."

Kat felt Adora hug her and she steeled herself against her daughter's tears and cried. "'Tay!" Adora yelled griping tight to Kat's jacket.

Kat held her and rubbed her back. "Addie, Mommy has to go help Daddy. I don't want to go but we have a very special job to do," she whispered softly.

"You have to save the world," Ben said softly.

Kat looked at him and nodded. She was reminded again that Ben knew all about the Supernatural world and all about its dangers. "Yeah, I do. Someone has to make sure Dean doesn't mess up."

She saw Ben give a slight smile. "He can mess things up."

"Sometimes," Kat turned and looked at Adora. Her daughter was looking at her. Kat wiped away her tears and kissed her on the nose. "I love you, Addie. You are why I have to do this. Mommy needs to make the world safe for you."

"Don't like it," Addie muttered softly.

Kat smiled. She kissed Adora on the forehead. "I don't like it either."

"Hey, Addie," Ben said smiling at the little girl, "how about we race back to the car?"

Adora looked at Kat. Kat placed her on her feet and stroked her hair. "Go on, honey. I'll meet you there."

Kat watched as Ben took Adora's hand and they both trotted off. Ben was careful to keep a steady slow pace so Adora didn't fall over or trip. Kat ran her hand over her face and looked up at the sky. She saw the dark storm clouds coming and she knew that everything was coming to a close. Either they would get Lucifer or they wouldn't.

 _Please let Addie be okay. Just let her live. That's all I need_ , she prayed. She wasn't sure if anyone was listening, but she did it anyway.

* * *

Castiel found himself alone for the first time in hours. Ever since Dean's call to Katerina, he had been keeping a close eye on the angel. However, Dean was human and he needed sleep. So did Sam and Bobby. All three of them were currently passed out in the house after looking all over for cases involving demons. Cas had informed them that in order for Sam to hold Lucifer, Sam would have to go back on the demon blood and it would take gallons to ensure that Sam's body was stable enough for the fallen angel. Cas had really thought they would be at it all night, but finally into the wee hours, almost dawn, they had all fallen and given in to sleep.

He walked around the junkyard walking deeper and deeper into the piles of trucks, cars etc. He finally stopped when he had reached the steel fence marking the end of Bobby Singer's property. He stood there and looked up at the sky. He closed his eyes and prayed. Not a moment later, the sound of wings disturbed the quiet. Castiel opened his eyes and turned to look at his brother.

"Castiel," the angel said his voice full of distrust. Cas looked down and was not surprised to see a silver blade in his hand.

"Amenadiel, I see it is you that they have sent," Castiel said softly.

"Did you really think that Michael would come himself? He does not trust you any longer, Castiel," Amenadiel said his voice cold.

"Well, also he is missing a vessel," Castiel said. He then winced as he realized that that was a very Winchester thing to say.

"Why have you called, Castiel?"

Castiel looked at his brother's dark eyes and serious face. He nodded. "I know where Katerina is. She is headed this way and if she makes it, then our plans will have been for nothing."

"Our plans? I believe you have fallen, Castiel and that you have aligned yourself with the Winchesters. Why would you want Katerina dead?"

"To stop Lucifer," Castiel said firmly.

Amenadiel laughed. Castiel was surprised. He had not seen many angels laugh. They were usually a serious bunch. "You really think that the Winchesters can stop Lucifer? They are humans."

"They may be humans but they are more than that. They believe they can and they are usually right."

"Perhaps, but do you really think that they will fight with you once they know that you are the reason that Katerina has died?"

Castiel knew his brother was right. He shook his head though. "Saving the world is more important than one life."

Amenadiel looked at Castiel. "I do hope you believe that, Castiel, otherwise this decision will haunt you forever."

Castiel nodded. He then pulled out the paper and handed it to Amenadiel. On the paper, he had written down the GPS location of Kat. It was now out of his hands and his decision had been made. Perhaps, he was still an angel even without his grace.


End file.
